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-

-

-

-

-                ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND

-

-                          Lewis Carroll

-

-               THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 2.9

-

-

-

-

-                            CHAPTER I

-

-                      Down the Rabbit-Hole

-

-

-  Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister

-on the bank, and of having nothing to do:  once or twice she had

-peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no

-pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,'

-thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?'

-

-  So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,

-for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether

-the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble

-of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White

-Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

-

-  There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice

-think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to

-itself, `Oh dear!  Oh dear!  I shall be late!'  (when she thought

-it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have

-wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural);

-but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-

-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to

-her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never

-before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to

-take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the

-field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop

-down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

-

-  In another moment down went Alice after it, never once

-considering how in the world she was to get out again.

-

-  The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,

-and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a

-moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself

-falling down a very deep well.

-

-  Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she

-had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to

-wonder what was going to happen next.  First, she tried to look

-down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to

-see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and

-noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;

-here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs.  She

-took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was

-labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it

-was empty:  she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing

-somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she

-fell past it.

-

-  `Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I

-shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs!  How brave they'll

-all think me at home!  Why, I wouldn't say anything about it,

-even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely

-true.)

-

-  Down, down, down.  Would the fall NEVER come to an end!  `I

-wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud.

-`I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth.  Let

-me see:  that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for,

-you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her

-lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good

-opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to

-listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes,

-that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude

-or Longitude I've got to?'  (Alice had no idea what Latitude was,

-or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to

-say.)

-

-  Presently she began again.  `I wonder if I shall fall right

-THROUGH the earth!  How funny it'll seem to come out among the

-people that walk with their heads downward!  The Antipathies, I

-think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this

-time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall

-have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.

-Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried

-to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling

-through the air!  Do you think you could manage it?)  `And what

-an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking!  No, it'll

-never do to ask:  perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'

-

-  Down, down, down.  There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon

-began talking again.  `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I

-should think!'  (Dinah was the cat.)  `I hope they'll remember

-her saucer of milk at tea-time.  Dinah my dear!  I wish you were

-down here with me!  There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but

-you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know.

-But do cats eat bats, I wonder?'  And here Alice began to get

-rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of

-way, `Do cats eat bats?  Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do

-bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either

-question, it didn't much matter which way she put it.  She felt

-that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she

-was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very

-earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth:  did you ever eat a

-bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of

-sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

-

-  Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a

-moment:  she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her

-was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in

-sight, hurrying down it.  There was not a moment to be lost:

-away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it

-say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late

-it's getting!'  She was close behind it when she turned the

-corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen:  she found

-herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps

-hanging from the roof.

-

-  There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;

-and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the

-other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,

-wondering how she was ever to get out again.

-

-  Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of

-solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,

-and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the

-doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or

-the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of

-them.  However, on the second time round, she came upon a low

-curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little

-door about fifteen inches high:  she tried the little golden key

-in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!

-

-  Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small

-passage, not much larger than a rat-hole:  she knelt down and

-looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.

-How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about

-among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but

-she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if

-my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of

-very little use without my shoulders.  Oh, how I wish

-I could shut up like a telescope!  I think I could, if I only

-know how to begin.'  For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things

-had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few

-things indeed were really impossible.

-

-  There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she

-went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on

-it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like

-telescopes:  this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which

-certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck

-of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME'

-beautifully printed on it in large letters.

-

-  It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little

-Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry.  `No, I'll look

-first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not';

-for she had read several nice little histories about children who

-had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant

-things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules

-their friends had taught them:  such as, that a red-hot poker

-will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your

-finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had

-never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked

-`poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or

-later.

-

-  However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured

-to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort

-of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast

-turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished

-it off.

-

-     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

-

-         *       *       *       *       *       *

-

-     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

-

-  `What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up

-like a telescope.'

-

-  And so it was indeed:  she was now only ten inches high, and

-her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right

-size for going though the little door into that lovely garden.

-First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was

-going to shrink any further:  she felt a little nervous about

-this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my

-going out altogether, like a candle.  I wonder what I should be

-like then?'  And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is

-like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember

-ever having seen such a thing.

-

-  After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided

-on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when

-she got to the door, she found he had forgotten the little golden

-key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she

-could not possibly reach it:  she could see it quite plainly

-through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the

-legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had

-tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and

-cried.

-

-  `Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to

-herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!'

-She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very

-seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so

-severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered

-trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game

-of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious

-child was very fond of pretending to be two people.  `But it's no

-use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people!  Why,

-there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable

-person!'

-

-  Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under

-the table:  she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on

-which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.

-`Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger,

-I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep

-under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I

-don't care which happens!'

-

-  She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which

-way?  Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to

-feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to

-find that she remained the same size:  to be sure, this generally

-happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the

-way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,

-that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the

-common way.

-

-  So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

-

-     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

-

-         *       *       *       *       *       *

-

-     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

-

-

-

-

-                           CHAPTER II

-

-                        The Pool of Tears

-

-

-  `Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much

-surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good

-English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that

-ever was!  Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her

-feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so

-far off).  `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on

-your shoes and stockings for you now, dears?  I'm sure _I_ shan't

-be able!  I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself

-about you:  you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be

-kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the

-way I want to go!  Let me see:  I'll give them a new pair of

-boots every Christmas.'

-

-  And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.

-`They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll

-seem, sending presents to one's own feet!  And how odd the

-directions will look!

-

-            ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.

-                HEARTHRUG,

-                    NEAR THE FENDER,

-                        (WITH ALICE'S LOVE).

-

-Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'

-

-  Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall:  in

-fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took

-up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

-

-  Poor Alice!  It was as much as she could do, lying down on one

-side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get

-through was more hopeless than ever:  she sat down and began to

-cry again.

-

-  `You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great

-girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in

-this way!  Stop this moment, I tell you!'  But she went on all

-the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool

-all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the

-hall.

-

-  After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the

-distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.

-It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a

-pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the

-other:  he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to

-himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she

-be savage if I've kept her waiting!'  Alice felt so desperate

-that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit

-came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please,

-sir--'  The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid

-gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard

-as he could go.

-

-  Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very

-hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:

-`Dear, dear!  How queer everything is to-day!  And yesterday

-things went on just as usual.  I wonder if I've been changed in

-the night?  Let me think:  was I the same when I got up this

-morning?  I almost think I can remember feeling a little

-different.  But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in

-the world am I?  Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!'  And she began

-thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age

-as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of

-them.

-

-  `I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such

-long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm

-sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,

-oh! she knows such a very little!  Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I,

-and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is!  I'll try if I know all the

-things I used to know.  Let me see:  four times five is twelve,

-and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear!

-I shall never get to twenty at that rate!  However, the

-Multiplication Table doesn't signify:  let's try Geography.

-London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,

-and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain!  I must have been

-changed for Mabel!  I'll try and say "How doth the little--"'

-and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons,

-and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and

-strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:--

-

-            `How doth the little crocodile

-              Improve his shining tail,

-            And pour the waters of the Nile

-              On every golden scale!

-

-            `How cheerfully he seems to grin,

-              How neatly spread his claws,

-            And welcome little fishes in

-              With gently smiling jaws!'

-

-  `I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and

-her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel

-after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little

-house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so

-many lessons to learn!  No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm

-Mabel, I'll stay down here!  It'll be no use their putting their

-heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!"  I shall only look

-up and say "Who am I then?  Tell me that first, and then, if I

-like being that person, I'll come up:  if not, I'll stay down

-here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a

-sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads

-down!  I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!'

-

-  As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was

-surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little

-white kid gloves while she was talking.  `How CAN I have done

-that?' she thought.  `I must be growing small again.'  She got up

-and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that,

-as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high,

-and was going on shrinking rapidly:  she soon found out that the

-cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it

-hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.

-

-`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at

-the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in

-existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed

-back to the little door:  but, alas! the little door was shut

-again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as

-before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child,

-`for I never was so small as this before, never!  And I declare

-it's too bad, that it is!'

-

-  As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another

-moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water.  He first

-idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that

-case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself.  (Alice had

-been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general

-conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find

-a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in

-the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and

-behind them a railway station.)  However, she soon made out that

-she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine

-feet high.

-

-  `I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about,

-trying to find her way out.  `I shall be punished for it now, I

-suppose, by being drowned in my own tears!  That WILL be a queer

-thing, to be sure!  However, everything is queer to-day.'

-

-  Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a

-little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was:  at

-first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then

-she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that

-it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.

-

-  `Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this

-mouse?  Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should

-think very likely it can talk:  at any rate, there's no harm in

-trying.'  So she began:  `O Mouse, do you know the way out of

-this pool?  I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'

-(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:

-she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having

-seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a

-mouse--a mouse--O mouse!'  The Mouse looked at her rather

-inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little

-eyes, but it said nothing.

-

-  `Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I

-daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the

-Conqueror.'  (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had

-no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.)  So she

-began again:  `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in

-her French lesson-book.  The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the

-water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright.  `Oh, I beg

-your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the

-poor animal's feelings.  `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'

-

-  `Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate

-voice.  `Would YOU like cats if you were me?'

-

-  `Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone:  `don't be

-angry about it.  And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah:

-I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her.

-She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself,

-as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so

-nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and

-she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital

-one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,

-for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt

-certain it must be really offended.  `We won't talk about her any

-more if you'd rather not.'

-

-  `We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end

-of his tail.  `As if I would talk on such a subject!  Our family

-always HATED cats:  nasty, low, vulgar things!  Don't let me hear

-the name again!'

-

-  `I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the

-subject of conversation.  `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'

-The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly:  `There is

-such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!

-A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly

-brown hair!  And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and

-it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I

-can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you

-know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds!

-He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a

-sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!'  For the

-Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and

-making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

-

-  So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear!  Do come back

-again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't

-like them!'  When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam

-slowly back to her:  its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice

-thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to

-the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll

-understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'

-

-  It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded

-with the birds and animals that had fallen into it:  there were a

-Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious

-creatures.  Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the

-shore.

-

-

-

-                           CHAPTER III

-

-                  A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

-

-

-  They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the

-bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their

-fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and

-uncomfortable.

-

-  The first question of course was, how to get dry again:  they

-had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed

-quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with

-them, as if she had known them all her life.  Indeed, she had

-quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,

-and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better';

-and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was,

-and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no

-more to be said.

-

-  At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among

-them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me!  I'LL

-soon make you dry enough!'  They all sat down at once, in a large

-ring, with the Mouse in the middle.  Alice kept her eyes

-anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad

-cold if she did not get dry very soon.

-

-  `Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready?

-This is the driest thing I know.  Silence all round, if you please!

-"William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was

-soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been

-of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest.  Edwin and

-Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'

-

-  `Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.

-

-  `I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very

-politely:  `Did you speak?'

-

-  `Not I!' said the Lory hastily.

-

-  `I thought you did,' said the Mouse.  `--I proceed.  "Edwin and

-Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him:

-and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found

-it advisable--"'

-

-  `Found WHAT?' said the Duck.

-

-  `Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly:  `of course you

-know what "it" means.'

-

-  `I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said

-the Duck:  `it's generally a frog or a worm.  The question is,

-what did the archbishop find?'

-

-  The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,

-`"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William

-and offer him the crown.  William's conduct at first was

-moderate.  But the insolence of his Normans--"  How are you

-getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it

-spoke.

-

-  `As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone:  `it doesn't

-seem to dry me at all.'

-

-  `In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I

-move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more

-energetic remedies--'

-

-  `Speak English!' said the Eaglet.  `I don't know the meaning of

-half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do

-either!'  And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile:

-some of the other birds tittered audibly.

-

-  `What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone,

-`was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'

-

-  `What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much

-to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY

-ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.

-

-  `Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.'

-(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter

-day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

-

-  First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the

-exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party

-were placed along the course, here and there.  There was no `One,

-two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked,

-and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know

-when the race was over.  However, when they had been running half

-an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called

-out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting,

-and asking, `But who has won?'

-

-  This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of

-thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon

-its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare,

-in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence.  At

-last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have

-prizes.'

-

-  `But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices

-asked.

-

-  `Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with

-one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,

-calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'

-

-  Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand

-in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt

-water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes.

-There was exactly one a-piece all round.

-

-  `But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.

-

-  `Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely.  `What else have

-you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.

-

-  `Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.

-

-  `Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.

-

-  Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo

-solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of

-this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short

-speech, they all cheered.

-

-  Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked

-so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not

-think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble,

-looking as solemn as she could.

-

-  The next thing was to eat the comfits:  this caused some noise

-and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not

-taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on

-the back.  However, it was over at last, and they sat down again

-in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.

-

-  `You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,

-`and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half

-afraid that it would be offended again.

-

-  `Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to

-Alice, and sighing.

-

-  `It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with

-wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?'  And

-she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so

-that her idea of the tale was something like this:--

-

-                    `Fury said to a

-                   mouse, That he

-                 met in the

-               house,

-            "Let us

-              both go to

-                law:  I will

-                  prosecute

-                    YOU.  --Come,

-                       I'll take no

-                        denial; We

-                     must have a

-                 trial:  For

-              really this

-           morning I've

-          nothing

-         to do."

-           Said the

-             mouse to the

-               cur, "Such

-                 a trial,

-                   dear Sir,

-                         With

-                     no jury

-                  or judge,

-                would be

-              wasting

-             our

-              breath."

-               "I'll be

-                 judge, I'll

-                   be jury,"

-                         Said

-                    cunning

-                      old Fury:

-                     "I'll

-                      try the

-                         whole

-                          cause,

-                             and

-                        condemn

-                       you

-                      to

-                       death."'

-

-

-  `You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.

-`What are you thinking of?'

-

-  `I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly:  `you had got to

-the fifth bend, I think?'

-

-  `I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.

-

-  `A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and

-looking anxiously about her.  `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'

-

-  `I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up

-and walking away.  `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'

-

-  `I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice.  `But you're so easily

-offended, you know!'

-

-  The Mouse only growled in reply.

-

-  `Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after

-it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but

-the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little

-quicker.

-

-  `What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it

-was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of

-saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear!  Let this be a lesson to you

-never to lose YOUR temper!'  `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the

-young Crab, a little snappishly.  `You're enough to try the

-patience of an oyster!'

-

-  `I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,

-addressing nobody in particular.  `She'd soon fetch it back!'

-

-  `And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'

-said the Lory.

-

-  Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about

-her pet:  `Dinah's our cat.  And she's such a capital one for

-catching mice you can't think!  And oh, I wish you could see her

-after the birds!  Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look

-at it!'

-

-  This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.

-Some of the birds hurried off at once:  one the old Magpie began

-wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be

-getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary

-called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my

-dears!  It's high time you were all in bed!'  On various pretexts

-they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.

-

-  `I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a

-melancholy tone.  `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm

-sure she's the best cat in the world!  Oh, my dear Dinah!  I

-wonder if I shall ever see you any more!'  And here poor Alice

-began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited.

-In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of

-footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping

-that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to

-finish his story.

-

-

-

-                           CHAPTER IV

-

-                The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

-

-

-  It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and

-looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;

-and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess!  The Duchess!

-Oh my dear paws!  Oh my fur and whiskers!  She'll get me

-executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets!  Where CAN I have

-dropped them, I wonder?'  Alice guessed in a moment that it was

-looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she

-very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were

-nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her

-swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and

-the little door, had vanished completely.

-

-  Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,

-and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE

-you doing out here?  Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of

-gloves and a fan!  Quick, now!'  And Alice was so much frightened

-that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without

-trying to explain the mistake it had made.

-

-  `He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran.

-`How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am!  But I'd

-better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.'

-As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door

-of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT'

-engraved upon it.  She went in without knocking, and hurried

-upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann,

-and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and

-gloves.

-

-  `How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going

-messages for a rabbit!  I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on

-messages next!'  And she began fancying the sort of thing that

-would happen:  `"Miss Alice!  Come here directly, and get ready

-for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse!  But I've got to see

-that the mouse doesn't get out."  Only I don't think,' Alice went

-on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering

-people about like that!'

-

-  By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with

-a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two

-or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves:  she took up the fan and

-a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when

-her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-

-glass.  There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,'

-but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips.  `I know

-SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself,

-`whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this

-bottle does.  I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for

-really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'

-

-  It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected:

-before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing

-against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being

-broken.  She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself

-`That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I

-can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so

-much!'

-

-  Alas! it was too late to wish that!  She went on growing, and

-growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor:  in

-another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried

-the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the

-other arm curled round her head.  Still she went on growing, and,

-as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one

-foot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more,

-whatever happens.  What WILL become of me?'

-

-  Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full

-effect, and she grew no larger:  still it was very uncomfortable,

-and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting

-out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.

-

-  `It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one

-wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about

-by mice and rabbits.  I almost wish I hadn't gone down that

-rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know,

-this sort of life!  I do wonder what CAN have happened to me!

-When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing

-never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!  There

-ought to be a book written about me, that there ought!  And when

-I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a

-sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any more

-HERE.'

-

-  `But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I

-am now?  That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman-

--but then--always to have lessons to learn!  Oh, I shouldn't like

-THAT!'

-

-  `Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself.  `How can you

-learn lessons in here?  Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no

-room at all for any lesson-books!'

-

-  And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other,

-and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few

-minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.

-

-  `Mary Ann!  Mary Ann!' said the voice.  `Fetch me my gloves

-this moment!'  Then came a little pattering of feet on the

-stairs.  Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and

-she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she

-was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no

-reason to be afraid of it.

-

-  Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it;

-but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed

-hard against it, that attempt proved a failure.  Alice heard it

-say to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.'

-

-  `THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she

-fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly

-spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air.  She did not

-get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall,

-and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was

-just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something

-of the sort.

-

-  Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat!  Where are

-you?'  And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure then

-I'm here!  Digging for apples, yer honour!'

-

-  `Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily.  `Here!

-Come and help me out of THIS!'  (Sounds of more broken glass.)

-

-  `Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'

-

-  `Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!'  (He pronounced it `arrum.')

-

-  `An arm, you goose!   Who ever saw one that size?  Why, it

-fills the whole window!'

-

-  `Sure, it does, yer honour:  but it's an arm for all that.'

-

-  `Well, it's got no business there, at any rate:  go and take it

-away!'

-

-  There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear

-whispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer

-honour, at all, at all!'  `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at

-last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in

-the air.  This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more

-sounds of broken glass.  `What a number of cucumber-frames there

-must be!' thought Alice.  `I wonder what they'll do next!  As for

-pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD!  I'm sure I

-don't want to stay in here any longer!'

-

-  She waited for some time without hearing anything more:  at

-last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a

-good many voice all talking together:  she made out the words:

-`Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one;

-Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up

-at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half

-high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular-

--Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind

-that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down!  Heads below!' (a loud

-crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go

-down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't,

-then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to

-go down the chimney!'

-

-  `Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said

-Alice to herself.  `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill!

-I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal:  this fireplace is

-narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!'

-

-  She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and

-waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what

-sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close

-above her:  then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave one

-sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.

-

-  The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes

-Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the

-hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Hold

-up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow?

-What happened to you?  Tell us all about it!'

-

-  Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,'

-thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm

-better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know

-is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes

-like a sky-rocket!'

-

-  `So you did, old fellow!' said the others.

-

-  `We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and

-Alice called out as loud as she could, `If you do.  I'll set

-Dinah at you!'

-

-  There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to

-herself, `I wonder what they WILL do next!  If they had any

-sense, they'd take the roof off.'  After a minute or two, they

-began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A

-barrowful will do, to begin with.'

-

-  `A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to

-doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came

-rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face.

-`I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out,

-`You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead

-silence.

-

-  Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all

-turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright

-idea came into her head.  `If I eat one of these cakes,' she

-thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it

-can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I

-suppose.'

-

-  So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find

-that she began shrinking directly.  As soon as she was small

-enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and

-found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside.

-The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by

-two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle.

-They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she

-ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a

-thick wood.

-

-  `The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she

-wandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again;

-and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden.

-I think that will be the best plan.'

-

-  It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and

-simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the

-smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering

-about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over

-her head made her look up in a great hurry.

-

-  An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round

-eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her.

-`Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried

-hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the

-time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it

-would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.

-

-  Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of

-stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped

-into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight,

-and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice

-dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run

-over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy

-made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in

-its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very

-like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every

-moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle

-again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the

-stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long

-way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat

-down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its

-mouth, and its great eyes half shut.

-

-  This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape;

-so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out

-of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the

-distance.

-

-  `And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she

-leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself

-with one of the leaves:  `I should have liked teaching it tricks

-very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it!  Oh

-dear!  I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again!  Let

-me see--how IS it to be managed?  I suppose I ought to eat or

-drink something or other; but the great question is, what?'

-

-  The great question certainly was, what?  Alice looked all round

-her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see

-anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under

-the circumstances.  There was a large mushroom growing near her,

-about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under

-it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her

-that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.

-

-  She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of

-the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large

-caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded,

-quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice

-of her or of anything else.

-

-

-

-                            CHAPTER V

-

-                    Advice from a Caterpillar

-

-

-  The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in

-silence:  at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its

-mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.

-

-  `Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.  Alice

-replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--

-at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think

-I must have been changed several times since then.'

-

-  `What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.

-`Explain yourself!'

-

-  `I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because

-I'm not myself, you see.'

-

-  `I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  `I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very

-politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and

-being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'

-

-  `It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  `Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but

-when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you

-know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll

-feel it a little queer, won't you?'

-

-  `Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  `Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice;

-`all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.'

-

-  `You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously.  `Who are YOU?'

-

-  Which brought them back again to the beginning of the

-conversation.  Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's

-making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said,

-very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'

-

-  `Why?' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not

-think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in

-a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.

-

-  `Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her.  `I've something

-important to say!'

-

-  This sounded promising, certainly:  Alice turned and came back

-again.

-

-  `Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  `Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as

-she could.

-

-  `No,' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else

-to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth

-hearing.  For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but

-at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth

-again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?'

-

-  `I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as

-I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'

-

-  `Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  `Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it

-all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.

-

-  `Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  Alice folded her hands, and began:--

-

-    `You are old, Father William,' the young man said,

-      `And your hair has become very white;

-    And yet you incessantly stand on your head--

-      Do you think, at your age, it is right?'

-

-    `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,

-      `I feared it might injure the brain;

-    But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,

-      Why, I do it again and again.'

-

-    `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before,

-      And have grown most uncommonly fat;

-    Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--

-      Pray, what is the reason of that?'

-

-    `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,

-      `I kept all my limbs very supple

-    By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--

-      Allow me to sell you a couple?'

-

-    `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak

-      For anything tougher than suet;

-    Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--

-      Pray how did you manage to do it?'

-

-    `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law,

-      And argued each case with my wife;

-    And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,

-      Has lasted the rest of my life.'

-

-    `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose

-      That your eye was as steady as ever;

-    Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--

-      What made you so awfully clever?'

-

-    `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'

-      Said his father; `don't give yourself airs!

-    Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?

-      Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'

-

-

-  `That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  `Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the

-words have got altered.'

-

-  `It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar

-decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.

-

-  The Caterpillar was the first to speak.

-

-  `What size do you want to be?' it asked.

-

-  `Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied;

-`only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'

-

-  `I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  Alice said nothing:  she had never been so much contradicted in

-her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.

-

-  `Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.

-

-  `Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you

-wouldn't mind,' said Alice:  `three inches is such a wretched

-height to be.'

-

-  `It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar

-angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three

-inches high).

-

-  `But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.

-And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so

-easily offended!'

-

-  `You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it

-put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.

-

-  This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again.

-In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its

-mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself.  Then it got

-down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely

-remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and

-the other side will make you grow shorter.'

-

-  `One side of WHAT?  The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to

-herself.

-

-  `Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had

-asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.

-

-  Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a

-minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as

-it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question.

-However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they

-would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.

-

-  `And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a

-little of the right-hand bit to try the effect:  the next moment

-she felt a violent blow underneath her chin:  it had struck her

-foot!

-

-  She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but

-she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking

-rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit.

-Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was

-hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and

-managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.

-

-

-     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

-

-         *       *       *       *       *       *

-

-     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

-

-  `Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of

-delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she

-found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found:  all she could

-see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which

-seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay

-far below her.

-

-  `What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice.  `And where

-HAVE my shoulders got to?  And oh, my poor hands, how is it I

-can't see you?'  She was moving them about as she spoke, but no

-result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the

-distant green leaves.

-

-  As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her

-head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted

-to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction,

-like a serpent.  She had just succeeded in curving it down into a

-graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which

-she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she

-had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a

-hurry:  a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating

-her violently with its wings.

-

-  `Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.

-

-  `I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly.  `Let me alone!'

-

-  `Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more

-subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every

-way, and nothing seems to suit them!'

-

-  `I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said

-Alice.

-

-  `I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've

-tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but

-those serpents!  There's no pleasing them!'

-

-  Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no

-use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.

-

-  `As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the

-Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and

-day!  Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'

-

-  `I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was

-beginning to see its meaning.

-

-  `And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued

-the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was

-thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come

-wriggling down from the sky!  Ugh, Serpent!'

-

-  `But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice.  `I'm a--I'm

-a--'

-

-  `Well!  WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon.  `I can see you're

-trying to invent something!'

-

-  `I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she

-remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day.

-

-  `A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the

-deepest contempt.  `I've seen a good many little girls in my

-time, but never ONE with such a neck as that!  No, no!  You're a

-serpent; and there's no use denying it.  I suppose you'll be

-telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'

-

-  `I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very

-truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as

-serpents do, you know.'

-

-  `I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why

-then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'

-

-  This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent

-for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of

-adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and

-what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a

-serpent?'

-

-  `It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm

-not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't

-want YOURS:  I don't like them raw.'

-

-  `Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it

-settled down again into its nest.  Alice crouched down among the

-trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled

-among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and

-untwist it.  After a while she remembered that she still held the

-pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very

-carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and

-growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had

-succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.

-

-  It was so long since she had been anything near the right size,

-that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a

-few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual.  `Come,

-there's half my plan done now!  How puzzling all these changes

-are!  I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to

-another!  However, I've got back to my right size:  the next

-thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be

-done, I wonder?'  As she said this, she came suddenly upon an

-open place, with a little house in it about four feet high.

-`Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come

-upon them THIS size:  why, I should frighten them out of their

-wits!'  So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did

-not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself

-down to nine inches high.

-

-

-

-                           CHAPTER VI

-

-                         Pig and Pepper

-

-

-  For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and

-wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came

-running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman

-because he was in livery:  otherwise, judging by his face only,

-she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door

-with his knuckles.  It was opened by another footman in livery,

-with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen,

-Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their

-heads.  She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and

-crept a little way out of the wood to listen.

-

-  The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great

-letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to

-the other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess.  An

-invitation from the Queen to play croquet.'  The Frog-Footman

-repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the

-words a little, `From the Queen.  An invitation for the Duchess

-to play croquet.'

-

-  Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled

-together.

-

-  Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into

-the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped

-out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the

-ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.

-

-  Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.

-

-  `There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and

-that for two reasons.  First, because I'm on the same side of the

-door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise

-inside, no one could possibly hear you.'  And certainly there was

-a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling

-and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish

-or kettle had been broken to pieces.

-

-  `Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?'

-

-  `There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went

-on without attending to her, `if we had the door between us.  For

-instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let

-you out, you know.'  He was looking up into the sky all the time

-he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil.  `But

-perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so

-VERY nearly at the top of his head.  But at any rate he might

-answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud.

-

-  `I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--'

-

-  At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate

-came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head:  it just

-grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees

-behind him.

-

-  `--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone,

-exactly as if nothing had happened.

-

-  `How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.

-

-  `ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman.  `That's the

-first question, you know.'

-

-  It was, no doubt:  only Alice did not like to be told so.

-`It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the

-creatures argue.  It's enough to drive one crazy!'

-

-  The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for

-repeating his remark, with variations.  `I shall sit here,' he

-said, `on and off, for days and days.'

-

-  `But what am I to do?' said Alice.

-

-  `Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.

-

-  `Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately:

-`he's perfectly idiotic!'  And she opened the door and went in.

-

-  The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of

-smoke from one end to the other:  the Duchess was sitting on a

-three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was

-leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to

-be full of soup.

-

-  `There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to

-herself, as well as she could for sneezing.

-

-  There was certainly too much of it in the air.  Even the

-Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was

-sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause.  The

-only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook,

-and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from

-ear to ear.

-

-  `Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for

-she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to

-speak first, `why your cat grins like that?'

-

-  `It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why.

-Pig!'

-

-  She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice

-quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed

-to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on

-again:--

-

-  `I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I

-didn't know that cats COULD grin.'

-

-  `They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.'

-

-  `I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely,

-feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.

-

-  `You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.'

-

-  Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought

-it would be as well to introduce some other subject of

-conversation.  While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took

-the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work

-throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby

---the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans,

-plates, and dishes.  The Duchess took no notice of them even when

-they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it

-was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.

-

-  `Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up

-and down in an agony of terror.  `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS

-nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very

-nearly carried it off.

-

-  `If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a

-hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it

-does.'

-

-  `Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very

-glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her

-knowledge.  `Just think of what work it would make with the day

-and night!  You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn

-round on its axis--'

-

-  `Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!'

-

-  Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant

-to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and

-seemed not to be listening, so she went on again:  `Twenty-four

-hours, I THINK; or is it twelve?  I--'

-

-  `Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide

-figures!'  And with that she began nursing her child again,

-singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a

-violent shake at the end of every line:

-

-        `Speak roughly to your little boy,

-          And beat him when he sneezes:

-        He only does it to annoy,

-          Because he knows it teases.'

-

-                    CHORUS.

-

-    (In which the cook and the baby joined):--

-

-                `Wow! wow! wow!'

-

-  While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept

-tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing

-howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--

-

-        `I speak severely to my boy,

-          I beat him when he sneezes;

-        For he can thoroughly enjoy

-          The pepper when he pleases!'

-

-                    CHORUS.

-

-                `Wow! wow! wow!'

-

-  `Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said

-to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke.  `I must go and

-get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of

-the room.  The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out,

-but it just missed her.

-

-  Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-

-shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all

-directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice.  The poor

-little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it,

-and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again,

-so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much

-as she could do to hold it.

-

-  As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it,

-(which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep

-tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its

-undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air.  `IF I

-don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure

-to kill it in a day or two:  wouldn't it be murder to leave it

-behind?'  She said the last words out loud, and the little thing

-grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).  `Don't

-grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing

-yourself.'

-

-  The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into

-its face to see what was the matter with it.  There could be no

-doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout

-than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for

-a baby:  altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at

-all.  `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked

-into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.

-

-  No, there were no tears.  `If you're going to turn into a pig,

-my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do

-with you.  Mind now!'  The poor little thing sobbed again (or

-grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for

-some while in silence.

-

-  Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I

-to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted

-again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some

-alarm.  This time there could be NO mistake about it:  it was

-neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be

-quite absurd for her to carry it further.

-

-  So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to

-see it trot away quietly into the wood.  `If it had grown up,'

-she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child:

-but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.'  And she began

-thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as

-pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right

-way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing

-the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.

-

-  The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice.  It looked good-

-natured, she thought:  still it had VERY long claws and a great

-many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect.

-

-  `Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at

-all know whether it would like the name:  however, it only

-grinned a little wider.  `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought

-Alice, and she went on.  `Would you tell me, please, which way I

-ought to go from here?'

-

-  `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said

-the Cat.

-

-  `I don't much care where--' said Alice.

-

-  `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.

-

-  `--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.

-

-  `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk

-long enough.'

-

-  Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another

-question.  `What sort of people live about here?'

-

-  `In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round,

-`lives a Hatter:  and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw,

-`lives a March Hare.  Visit either you like:  they're both mad.'

-

-  `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.

-

-  `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat:  `we're all mad here.

-I'm mad.  You're mad.'

-

-  `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.

-

-  `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'

-

-  Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on

-`And how do you know that you're mad?'

-

-  `To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad.  You grant

-that?'

-

-  `I suppose so,' said Alice.

-

-  `Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's

-angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.  Now I growl when I'm

-pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry.  Therefore I'm mad.'

-

-  `I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.

-

-  `Call it what you like,' said the Cat.  `Do you play croquet

-with the Queen to-day?'

-

-  `I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been

-invited yet.'

-

-  `You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.

-

-  Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used

-to queer things happening.  While she was looking at the place

-where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.

-

-  `By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat.  `I'd

-nearly forgotten to ask.'

-

-  `It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had

-come back in a natural way.

-

-  `I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.

-

-  Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it

-did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the

-direction in which the March Hare was said to live.  `I've seen

-hatters before,' she said to herself; `the March Hare will be

-much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be

-raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.'  As she said

-this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a

-branch of a tree.

-

-  `Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.

-

-  `I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep

-appearing and vanishing so suddenly:  you make one quite giddy.'

-

-  `All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite

-slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the

-grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.

-

-  `Well!  I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice;

-`but a grin without a cat!  It's the most curious thing I ever

-say in my life!'

-

-  She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the

-house of the March Hare:  she thought it must be the right house,

-because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was

-thatched with fur.  It was so large a house, that she did not

-like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand

-bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high:  even

-then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself

-`Suppose it should be raving mad after all!  I almost wish I'd

-gone to see the Hatter instead!'

-

-

-

-                           CHAPTER VII

-

-                         A Mad Tea-Party

-

-

-  There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house,

-and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it:  a

-Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two

-were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and the

-talking over its head.  `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,'

-thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.'

-

-  The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded

-together at one corner of it:  `No room!  No room!' they cried

-out when they saw Alice coming.  `There's PLENTY of room!' said

-Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one

-end of the table.

-

-  `Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.

-

-  Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it

-but tea.  `I don't see any wine,' she remarked.

-

-  `There isn't any,' said the March Hare.

-

-  `Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice

-angrily.

-

-  `It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being

-invited,' said the March Hare.

-

-  `I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a

-great many more than three.'

-

-  `Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter.  He had been

-looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was

-his first speech.

-

-  `You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said

-with some severity; `it's very rude.'

-

-  The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all

-he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'

-

-  `Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice.  `I'm glad

-they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she

-added aloud.

-

-  `Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?'

-said the March Hare.

-

-  `Exactly so,' said Alice.

-

-  `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.

-

-  `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what

-I say--that's the same thing, you know.'

-

-  `Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter.  `You might just

-as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat

-what I see"!'

-

-  `You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I

-like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'

-

-  `You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to

-be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the

-same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'

-

-  `It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the

-conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute,

-while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and

-writing-desks, which wasn't much.

-

-  The Hatter was the first to break the silence.  `What day of

-the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice:  he had taken his

-watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking

-it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.

-

-  Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.'

-

-  `Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter.  `I told you butter

-wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March

-Hare.

-

-  `It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.

-

-  `Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter

-grumbled:  `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.'

-

-  The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily:  then

-he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again:  but he

-could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It

-was the BEST butter, you know.'

-

-  Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.

-`What a funny watch!' she remarked.  `It tells the day of the

-month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'

-

-  `Why should it?' muttered the Hatter.  `Does YOUR watch tell

-you what year it is?'

-

-  `Of course not,' Alice replied very readily:  `but that's

-because it stays the same year for such a long time together.'

-

-  `Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.

-

-  Alice felt dreadfully puzzled.  The Hatter's remark seemed to

-have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English.

-`I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she

-could.

-

-  `The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured

-a little hot tea upon its nose.

-

-  The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without

-opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to

-remark myself.'

-

-  `Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to

-Alice again.

-

-  `No, I give it up,' Alice replied:  `what's the answer?'

-

-  `I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.

-

-  `Nor I,' said the March Hare.

-

-  Alice sighed wearily.  `I think you might do something better

-with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that

-have no answers.'

-

-  `If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you

-wouldn't talk about wasting IT.  It's HIM.'

-

-  `I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.

-

-  `Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head

-contemptuously.  `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'

-

-  `Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied:  `but I know I have to

-beat time when I learn music.'

-

-  `Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter.  `He won't stand

-beating.  Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do

-almost anything you liked with the clock.  For instance, suppose

-it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons:

-you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the

-clock in a twinkling!  Half-past one, time for dinner!'

-

-  (`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a

-whisper.)

-

-  `That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully:

-`but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'

-

-  `Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter:  `but you could keep

-it to half-past one as long as you liked.'

-

-  `Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked.

-

-  The Hatter shook his head mournfully.  `Not I!' he replied.

-`We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--'

-(pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the

-great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing

-

-            "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!

-            How I wonder what you're at!"

-

-You know the song, perhaps?'

-

-  `I've heard something like it,' said Alice.

-

-  `It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:--

-

-            "Up above the world you fly,

-            Like a tea-tray in the sky.

-                    Twinkle, twinkle--"'

-

-Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep

-`Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that

-they had to pinch it to make it stop.

-

-  `Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter,

-`when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the

-time!  Off with his head!"'

-

-  `How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.

-

-  `And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,

-`he won't do a thing I ask!  It's always six o'clock now.'

-

-  A bright idea came into Alice's head.  `Is that the reason so

-many tea-things are put out here?' she asked.

-

-  `Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh:  `it's always

-tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.'

-

-  `Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.

-

-  `Exactly so,' said the Hatter:  `as the things get used up.'

-

-  `But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice

-ventured to ask.

-

-  `Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted,

-yawning.  `I'm getting tired of this.  I vote the young lady

-tells us a story.'

-

-  `I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at

-the proposal.

-

-  `Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried.  `Wake up,

-Dormouse!'  And they pinched it on both sides at once.

-

-  The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes.  `I wasn't asleep,' he

-said in a hoarse, feeble voice:  `I heard every word you fellows

-were saying.'

-

-  `Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.

-

-  `Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.

-

-  `And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep

-again before it's done.'

-

-  `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the

-Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie,

-Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--'

-

-  `What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great

-interest in questions of eating and drinking.

-

-  `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a

-minute or two.

-

-  `They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently

-remarked; `they'd have been ill.'

-

-  `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.'

-

-  Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways

-of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went

-on:  `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?'

-

-  `Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very

-earnestly.

-

-  `I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so

-I can't take more.'

-

-  `You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter:  `it's very

-easy to take MORE than nothing.'

-

-  `Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.

-

-  `Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked

-triumphantly.

-

-  Alice did not quite know what to say to this:  so she helped

-herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the

-Dormouse, and repeated her question.  `Why did they live at the

-bottom of a well?'

-

-  The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and

-then said, `It was a treacle-well.'

-

-  `There's no such thing!'  Alice was beginning very angrily, but

-the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse

-sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the

-story for yourself.'

-

-  `No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt

-again.  I dare say there may be ONE.'

-

-  `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly.  However, he

-consented to go on.  `And so these three little sisters--they

-were learning to draw, you know--'

-

-  `What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.

-

-  `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this

-time.

-

-  `I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter:  `let's all move

-one place on.'

-

-  He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him:  the

-March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather

-unwillingly took the place of the March Hare.  The Hatter was the

-only one who got any advantage from the change:  and Alice was a

-good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset

-the milk-jug into his plate.

-

-  Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began

-very cautiously:  `But I don't understand.  Where did they draw

-the treacle from?'

-

-  `You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so

-I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh,

-stupid?'

-

-  `But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not

-choosing to notice this last remark.

-

-  `Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.'

-

-  This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse

-go on for some time without interrupting it.

-

-  `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and

-rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew

-all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--'

-

-  `Why with an M?' said Alice.

-

-  `Why not?' said the March Hare.

-

-  Alice was silent.

-

-  The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going

-off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up

-again with a little shriek, and went on:  `--that begins with an

-M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--

-you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever

-see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'

-

-  `Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I

-don't think--'

-

-  `Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.

-

-  This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear:  she got

-up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep

-instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her

-going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that

-they would call after her:  the last time she saw them, they were

-trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

-

-  `At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she

-picked her way through the wood.  `It's the stupidest tea-party I

-ever was at in all my life!'

-

-  Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a

-door leading right into it.  `That's very curious!' she thought.

-`But everything's curious today.  I think I may as well go in at

-once.'  And in she went.

-

-  Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the

-little glass table.  `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she

-said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and

-unlocking the door that led into the garden.  Then she went to

-work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her

-pocked) till she was about a foot high:  then she walked down the

-little passage:  and THEN--she found herself at last in the

-beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool

-fountains.

-

-

-

-                          CHAPTER VIII

-

-                   The Queen's Croquet-Ground

-

-

-  A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden:  the

-roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at

-it, busily painting them red.  Alice thought this a very curious

-thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up

-to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five!  Don't go

-splashing paint over me like that!'

-

-  `I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged

-my elbow.'

-

-  On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five!  Always

-lay the blame on others!'

-

-  `YOU'D better not talk!' said Five.  `I heard the Queen say only

-yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'

-

-  `What for?' said the one who had spoken first.

-

-  `That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.

-

-  `Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it

-was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'

-

-  Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all

-the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as

-she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly:  the

-others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.

-

-  `Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are

-painting those roses?'

-

-  Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two.  Two began in a

-low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to

-have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake;

-and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads

-cut off, you know.  So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore

-she comes, to--'  At this moment Five, who had been anxiously

-looking across the garden, called out `The Queen!  The Queen!'

-and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon

-their faces.  There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice

-looked round, eager to see the Queen.

-

-  First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped

-like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and

-feet at the corners:  next the ten courtiers; these were

-ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the

-soldiers did.  After these came the royal children; there were

-ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand

-in hand, in couples:  they were all ornamented with hearts.  Next

-came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice

-recognised the White Rabbit:  it was talking in a hurried nervous

-manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without

-noticing her.  Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the

-King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this

-grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.

-

-  Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on

-her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember

-every having heard of such a rule at processions; `and besides,

-what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, `if people

-had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see

-it?'  So she stood still where she was, and waited.

-

-  When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped

-and looked at her, and the Queen said severely `Who is this?'

-She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in

-reply.

-

-  `Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and,

-turning to Alice, she went on, `What's your name, child?'

-

-  `My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very

-politely; but she added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of

-cards, after all.  I needn't be afraid of them!'

-

-  `And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three

-gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as

-they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs

-was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether

-they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her

-own children.

-

-  `How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage.

-`It's no business of MINE.'

-

-  The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her

-for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head!

-Off--'

-

-  `Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the

-Queen was silent.

-

-  The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said

-`Consider, my dear:  she is only a child!'

-

-  The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave

-`Turn them over!'

-

-  The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.

-

-  `Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the

-three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the

-King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.

-

-  `Leave off that!' screamed the Queen.  `You make me giddy.'

-And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you

-been doing here?'

-

-  `May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone,

-going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--'

-

-  `I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the

-roses.  `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on,

-three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate

-gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.

-

-  `You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a

-large flower-pot that stood near.  The three soldiers wandered

-about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly

-marched off after the others.

-

-  `Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.

-

-  `Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers

-shouted in reply.

-

-  `That's right!' shouted the Queen.  `Can you play croquet?'

-

-  The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question

-was evidently meant for her.

-

-  `Yes!' shouted Alice.

-

-  `Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the

-procession, wondering very much what would happen next.

-

-  `It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side.

-She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously

-into her face.

-

-  `Very,' said Alice:  `--where's the Duchess?'

-

-  `Hush!  Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone.  He

-looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised

-himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and

-whispered `She's under sentence of execution.'

-

-  `What for?' said Alice.

-

-  `Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.

-

-  `No, I didn't,' said Alice:  `I don't think it's at all a pity.

-I said "What for?"'

-

-  `She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began.  Alice gave a

-little scream of laughter.  `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a

-frightened tone.  `The Queen will hear you!  You see, she came

-rather late, and the Queen said--'

-

-  `Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder,

-and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up

-against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or

-two, and the game began.  Alice thought she had never seen such a

-curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and

-furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live

-flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to

-stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.

-

-  The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her

-flamingo:  she succeeded in getting its body tucked away,

-comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down,

-but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened

-out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it

-WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a

-puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing:

-and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again,

-it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled

-itself, and was in the act of crawling away:  besides all this,

-there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she

-wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers

-were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the

-ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very

-difficult game indeed.

-

-  The players all played at once without waiting for turns,

-quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in

-a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went

-stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with

-her head!' about once in a minute.

-

-  Alice began to feel very uneasy:  to be sure, she had not as

-yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might

-happen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become of

-me?  They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great

-wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'

-

-  She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering

-whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a

-curious appearance in the air:  it puzzled her very much at

-first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to

-be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat:  now I

-shall have somebody to talk to.'

-

-  `How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was

-mouth enough for it to speak with.

-

-  Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded.  `It's no

-use speaking to it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at

-least one of them.'  In another minute the whole head appeared,

-and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the

-game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her.  The

-Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and

-no more of it appeared.

-

-  `I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather

-a complaining tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't

-hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in

-particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and

-you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive;

-for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next

-walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have

-croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it

-saw mine coming!'

-

-  `How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.

-

-  `Not at all,' said Alice:  `she's so extremely--'  Just then

-she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening:  so

-she went on, `--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while

-finishing the game.'

-

-  The Queen smiled and passed on.

-

-  `Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and

-looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.

-

-  `It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice:  `allow me

-to introduce it.'

-

-  `I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King:  `however,

-it may kiss my hand if it likes.'

-

-  `I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.

-

-  `Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me

-like that!'  He got behind Alice as he spoke.

-

-  `A cat may look at a king,' said Alice.  `I've read that in

-some book, but I don't remember where.'

-

-  `Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and

-he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear!  I

-wish you would have this cat removed!'

-

-  The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great

-or small.  `Off with his head!' she said, without even looking

-round.

-

-  `I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and

-he hurried off.

-

-  Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game

-was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance,

-screaming with passion.  She had already heard her sentence three

-of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and

-she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in

-such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or

-not.  So she went in search of her hedgehog.

-

-  The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog,

-which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one

-of them with the other:  the only difficulty was, that her

-flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where

-Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up

-into a tree.

-

-  By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back,

-the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight:

-`but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all the arches

-are gone from this side of the ground.'  So she tucked it away

-under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for

-a little more conversation with her friend.

-

-  When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to

-find quite a large crowd collected round it:  there was a dispute

-going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who

-were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent,

-and looked very uncomfortable.

-

-  The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to

-settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her,

-though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed

-to make out exactly what they said.

-

-  The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a

-head unless there was a body to cut it off from:  that he had

-never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin

-at HIS time of life.

-

-  The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be

-beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.

-

-  The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about

-it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round.

-(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so

-grave and anxious.)

-

-  Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the

-Duchess:  you'd better ask HER about it.'

-

-  `She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner:  `fetch

-her here.'  And the executioner went off like an arrow.

-

-   The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and,

-by the time he had come back with the Dutchess, it had entirely

-disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and

-down looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.

-

-

-

-                           CHAPTER IX

-

-                     The Mock Turtle's Story

-

-

-  `You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old

-thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately

-into Alice's, and they walked off together.

-

-  Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and

-thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had

-made her so savage when they met in the kitchen.

-

-  `When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very

-hopeful tone though), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT

-ALL.  Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper that

-makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much pleased at

-having found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that makes them

-sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar

-and such things that make children sweet-tempered.  I only wish

-people knew that:  then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you

-know--'

-

-  She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a

-little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear.

-`You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you

-forget to talk.  I can't tell you just now what the moral of that

-is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'

-

-  `Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.

-

-  `Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess.  `Everything's got a

-moral, if only you can find it.'  And she squeezed herself up

-closer to Alice's side as she spoke.

-

-  Alice did not much like keeping so close to her:  first,

-because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was

-exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder,

-and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin.  However, she did not

-like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.

-

-  `The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of

-keeping up the conversation a little.

-

-  `'Tis so,' said the Duchess:  `and the moral of that is--"Oh,

-'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"'

-

-  `Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody

-minding their own business!'

-

-  `Ah, well!  It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess,

-digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added,

-`and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the

-sounds will take care of themselves."'

-

-  `How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to

-herself.

-

-  `I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your

-waist,' the Duchess said after a pause:  `the reason is, that I'm

-doubtful about the temper of your flamingo.  Shall I try the

-experiment?'

-

-  `HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all

-anxious to have the experiment tried.

-

-  `Very true,' said the Duchess:  `flamingoes and mustard both

-bite.  And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock

-together."'

-

-  `Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.

-

-  `Right, as usual,' said the Duchess:  `what a clear way you

-have of putting things!'

-

-  `It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.

-

-  `Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree

-to everything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near

-here.  And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the

-less there is of yours."'

-

-  `Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this

-last remark, `it's a vegetable.  It doesn't look like one, but it

-is.'

-

-  `I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of

-that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put

-more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than

-what it might appear to others that what you were or might have

-been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared

-to them to be otherwise."'

-

-  `I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very

-politely, `if I had it written down:  but I can't quite follow it

-as you say it.'

-

-  `That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess

-replied, in a pleased tone.

-

-  `Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,'

-said Alice.

-

-  `Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess.  `I make you

-a present of everything I've said as yet.'

-

-  `A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice.  `I'm glad they don't

-give birthday presents like that!'  But she did not venture to

-say it out loud.

-

-  `Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her

-sharp little chin.

-

-  `I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was

-beginning to feel a little worried.

-

-  `Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to

-fly; and the m--'

-

-  But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died

-away, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the

-arm that was linked into hers began to tremble.  Alice looked up,

-and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,

-frowning like a thunderstorm.

-

-  `A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak

-voice.

-

-  `Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on

-the ground as she spoke; `either you or your head must be off,

-and that in about half no time!  Take your choice!'

-

-  The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.

-

-  `Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice

-was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her

-back to the croquet-ground.

-

-  The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence,

-and were resting in the shade:  however, the moment they saw her,

-they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a

-moment's delay would cost them their lives.

-

-  All the time they were playing the Queen never left off

-quarrelling with the other players, and shouting `Off with his

-head!' or `Off with her head!'  Those whom she sentenced were

-taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave

-off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour

-or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the

-King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of

-execution.

-

-  Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to

-Alice, `Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?'

-

-  `No,' said Alice.  `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'

-

-  `It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.

-

-  `I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.

-

-  `Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his

-history,'

-

-  As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low

-voice, to the company generally, `You are all pardoned.'  `Come,

-THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite

-unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.

-

-  They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the

-sun.  (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)

-`Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this young lady to

-see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history.  I must go back and

-see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off,

-leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon.  Alice did not quite like

-the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would

-be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage

-Queen:  so she waited.

-

-  The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes:  then it watched the

-Queen till she was out of sight:  then it chuckled.  `What fun!'

-said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

-

-  `What IS the fun?' said Alice.

-

-  `Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon.  `It's all her fancy, that:  they

-never executes nobody, you know.  Come on!'

-

-  `Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went

-slowly after it:  `I never was so ordered about in all my life,

-never!'

-

-  They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the

-distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and,

-as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart

-would break.  She pitied him deeply.  `What is his sorrow?' she

-asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the

-same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that:  he hasn't got

-no sorrow, you know.  Come on!'

-

-  So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with

-large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.

-

-  `This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to

-know your history, she do.'

-

-  `I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow

-tone:  `sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've

-finished.'

-

-  So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes.  Alice

-thought to herself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he

-doesn't begin.'  But she waited patiently.

-

-  `Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was

-a real Turtle.'

-

-  These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only

-by an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and

-the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle.  Alice was very

-nearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, for your

-interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be

-more to come, so she sat still and said nothing.

-

-  `When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more

-calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, `we went to

-school in the sea.  The master was an old Turtle--we used to call

-him Tortoise--'

-

-  `Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.

-

-  `We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock

-Turtle angrily:  `really you are very dull!'

-

-  `You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple

-question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and

-looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth.  At

-last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow!

-Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words:

-

-  `Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe

-it--'

-

-  `I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.

-

-  `You did,' said the Mock Turtle.

-

-  `Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak

-again.  The Mock Turtle went on.

-

-  `We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school

-every day--'

-

-  `I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be

-so proud as all that.'

-

-  `With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.

-

-  `Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.'

-

-  `And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.

-

-  `Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.

-

-  `Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock

-Turtle in a tone of great relief.  `Now at OURS they had at the

-end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'

-

-  `You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the

-bottom of the sea.'

-

-  `I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a

-sigh.  `I only took the regular course.'

-

-  `What was that?' inquired Alice.

-

-  `Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock

-Turtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic--

-Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'

-

-  `I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say.  `What

-is it?'

-

-  The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise.  `What!  Never

-heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed.  `You know what to beautify

-is, I suppose?'

-

-  `Yes,' said Alice doubtfully:  `it means--to--make--anything--

-prettier.'

-

-  `Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to

-uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'

-

-  Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about

-it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had you

-to learn?'

-

-  `Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting

-off the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern,

-with Seaography:  then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old

-conger-eel, that used to come once a week:  HE taught us

-Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'

-

-  `What was THAT like?' said Alice.

-

-  `Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said:  `I'm

-too stiff.  And the Gryphon never learnt it.'

-

-  `Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon:  `I went to the Classics

-master, though.  He was an old crab, HE was.'

-

-  `I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh:  `he

-taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'

-

-  `So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn;

-and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.

-

-  `And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a

-hurry to change the subject.

-

-  `Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine the

-next, and so on.'

-

-  `What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.

-

-  `That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon

-remarked:  `because they lessen from day to day.'

-

-  This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a

-little before she made her next remark.  `Then the eleventh day

-must have been a holiday?'

-

-  `Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.

-

-  `And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly.

-

-  `That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a

-very decided tone:  `tell her something about the games now.'

-

-

-

-                            CHAPTER X

-

-                      The Lobster Quadrille

-

-

-  The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper

-across his eyes.  He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for

-a minute or two sobs choked his voice.  `Same as if he had a bone

-in his throat,' said the Gryphon:  and it set to work shaking him

-and punching him in the back.  At last the Mock Turtle recovered

-his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on

-again:--

-

-  `You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,'

-said Alice)--`and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--'

-(Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily,

-and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightful

-thing a Lobster Quadrille is!'

-

-  `No, indeed,' said Alice.  `What sort of a dance is it?'

-

-  `Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the

-sea-shore--'

-

-  `Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle.  `Seals, turtles, salmon,

-and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of

-the way--'

-

-  `THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.

-

-  `--you advance twice--'

-

-  `Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.

-

-  `Of course,' the Mock Turtle said:  `advance twice, set to

-partners--'

-

-  `--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the

-Gryphon.

-

-  `Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--'

-

-  `The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.

-

-  `--as far out to sea as you can--'

-

-  `Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.

-

-  `Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle,

-capering wildly about.

-

-  `Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the

-Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures,

-who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat

-down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.

-

-  `It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.

-

-  `Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.

-

-  `Very much indeed,' said Alice.

-

-  `Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the

-Gryphon.  `We can do without lobsters, you know.  Which shall

-sing?'

-

-  `Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon.  `I've forgotten the words.'

-

-  So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now

-and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and

-waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle

-sang this, very slowly and sadly:--

-

-

-`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.

-"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my

- tail.

-See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!

-They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the

-dance?

-

-Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the

-dance?

-Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the

-dance?

-

-

-"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be

-When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to

-                                                      sea!"

-But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look

-                                                       askance--

-Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the

-   dance.

-    Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join

-        the dance.

-    Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join

-        the dance.

-

-`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.

-"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.

-The further off from England the nearer is to France--

-Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.

-

-    Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the

-         dance?

-    Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the

-         dance?"'

-

-

-

-  `Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said

-Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last:  `and I do so

-like that curious song about the whiting!'

-

-  `Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've

-seen them, of course?'

-

-  `Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she

-checked herself hastily.

-

-  `I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but

-if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're

-like.'

-

-  `I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully.  `They have their

-tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'

-

-  `You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle:

-`crumbs would all wash off in the sea.  But they HAVE their tails

-in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle

-yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and all

-that,' he said to the Gryphon.

-

-  `The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with

-the lobsters to the dance.  So they got thrown out to sea.  So

-they had to fall a long way.  So they got their tails fast in

-their mouths.  So they couldn't get them out again.  That's all.'

-

-  `Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting.  I never knew

-so much about a whiting before.'

-

-  `I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the

-Gryphon.  `Do you know why it's called a whiting?'

-

-  `I never thought about it,' said Alice.  `Why?'

-

-  `IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very

-solemnly.

-

-  Alice was thoroughly puzzled.  `Does the boots and shoes!' she

-repeated in a wondering tone.

-

-  `Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon.  `I

-mean, what makes them so shiny?'

-

-  Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she

-gave her answer.  `They're done with blacking, I believe.'

-

-  `Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep

-voice, `are done with a whiting.  Now you know.'

-

-  `And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great

-curiosity.

-

-  `Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather

-impatiently:  `any shrimp could have told you that.'

-

-  `If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were

-still running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep

-back, please:  we don't want YOU with us!"'

-

-  `They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle

-said:  `no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.'

-

-  `Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise.

-

-  `Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle:  `why, if a fish came

-to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With

-what porpoise?"'

-

-  `Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.

-

-  `I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended

-tone.  And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR

-adventures.'

-

-  `I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,'

-said Alice a little timidly:  `but it's no use going back to

-yesterday, because I was a different person then.'

-

-  `Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.

-

-  `No, no!  The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an

-impatient tone:  `explanations take such a dreadful time.'

-

-  So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when

-she first saw the White Rabbit.  She was a little nervous about

-it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on

-each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she

-gained courage as she went on.  Her listeners were perfectly

-quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD,

-FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming

-different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said

-`That's very curious.'

-

-  `It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.

-

-  `It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated

-thoughtfully.  `I should like to hear her try and repeat

-something now.  Tell her to begin.'  He looked at the Gryphon as

-if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.

-

-  `Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said

-the Gryphon.

-

-  `How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat

-lessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.'

-However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so

-full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was

-saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--

-

-    `'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,

-    "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."

-    As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose

-    Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'

-

-              [later editions continued as follows

-    When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,

-    And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark,

-    But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,

-    His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]

-

-  `That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,'

-said the Gryphon.

-

-  `Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it

-sounds uncommon nonsense.'

-

-  Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her

-hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way

-again.

-

-  `I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.

-

-  `She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily.  `Go on with

-the next verse.'

-

-  `But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted.  `How COULD

-he turn them out with his nose, you know?'

-

-  `It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was

-dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the

-subject.

-

-  `Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently:

-`it begins "I passed by his garden."'

-

-  Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would

-all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--

-

-    `I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,

-    How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'

-

-        [later editions continued as follows

-    The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,

-    While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.

-    When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,

-    Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:

-    While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,

-    And concluded the banquet--]

-

-  `What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle

-interrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on?  It's by far

-the most confusing thing I ever heard!'

-

-  `Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon:  and

-Alice was only too glad to do so.

-

-  `Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the

-Gryphon went on.  `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you

-a song?'

-

-  `Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,'

-Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather

-offended tone, `Hm! No accounting for tastes!  Sing her "Turtle

-Soup," will you, old fellow?'

-

-  The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes

-choked with sobs, to sing this:--

-

-

-    `Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,

-    Waiting in a hot tureen!

-    Who for such dainties would not stoop?

-    Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

-    Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

-        Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!

-        Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!

-    Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,

-        Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

-

-    `Beautiful Soup!  Who cares for fish,

-    Game, or any other dish?

-    Who would not give all else for two p

-    ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?

-    Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?

-        Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!

-        Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!

-    Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,

-        Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'

-

-  `Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had

-just begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!'

-was heard in the distance.

-

-  `Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand,

-it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.

-

-  `What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon

-only answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more

-faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the

-melancholy words:--

-

-    `Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,

-        Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'

-

-

-

-                           CHAPTER XI

-

-                      Who Stole the Tarts?

-

-

-  The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when

-they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts

-of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards:

-the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on

-each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit,

-with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the

-other.  In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large

-dish of tarts upon it:  they looked so good, that it made Alice

-quite hungry to look at them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,'

-she thought, `and hand round the refreshments!'  But there seemed

-to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about

-her, to pass away the time.

-

-  Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had

-read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that

-she knew the name of nearly everything there.  `That's the

-judge,' she said to herself, `because of his great wig.'

-

-  The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown

-over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he

-did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly

-not becoming.

-

-  `And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelve

-creatures,' (she was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, because

-some of them were animals, and some were birds,) `I suppose they

-are the jurors.'  She said this last word two or three times over

-to herself, being rather proud of it:  for she thought, and

-rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the

-meaning of it at all.  However, `jury-men' would have done just

-as well.

-

-  The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates.

-`What are they doing?'  Alice whispered to the Gryphon.  `They

-can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.'

-

-  `They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in

-reply, `for fear they should forget them before the end of the

-trial.'

-

-  `Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but

-she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in

-the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked

-anxiously round, to make out who was talking.

-

-  Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their

-shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down `stupid things!'

-on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them

-didn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he had to ask his

-neighbour to tell him.  `A nice muddle their slates'll be in

-before the trial's over!' thought Alice.

-

-  One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked.  This of course,

-Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and got

-behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it

-away.  She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was

-Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of

-it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write

-with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very

-little use, as it left no mark on the slate.

-

-  `Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.

-

-  On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and

-then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:--

-

-    `The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,

-          All on a summer day:

-      The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,

-          And took them quite away!'

-

-  `Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.

-

-  `Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted.  `There's

-a great deal to come before that!'

-

-  `Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit

-blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, `First

-witness!'

-

-  The first witness was the Hatter.  He came in with a teacup in

-one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other.  `I beg

-pardon, your Majesty,' he began, `for bringing these in:  but I

-hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.'

-

-  `You ought to have finished,' said the King.  `When did you

-begin?'

-

-  The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into

-the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse.  `Fourteenth of March, I

-think it was,' he said.

-

-  `Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.

-

-  `Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.

-

-  `Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury

-eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then

-added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.

-

-  `Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.

-

-  `It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.

-

-  `Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who

-instantly made a memorandum of the fact.

-

-  `I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation;

-`I've none of my own.  I'm a hatter.'

-

-  Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the

-Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.

-

-  `Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, or

-I'll have you executed on the spot.'

-

-  This did not seem to encourage the witness at all:  he kept

-shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the

-Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his

-teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.

-

-  Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which

-puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was:  she was

-beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she

-would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she

-decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for

-her.

-

-  `I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was

-sitting next to her.  `I can hardly breathe.'

-

-  `I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly:  `I'm growing.'

-

-  `You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse.

-

-  `Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly:  `you know

-you're growing too.'

-

-  `Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse:

-`not in that ridiculous fashion.'  And he got up very sulkily

-and crossed over to the other side of the court.

-

-  All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the

-Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to

-one of the officers of the court, `Bring me the list of the

-singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter

-trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.

-

-  `Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll have

-you executed, whether you're nervous or not.'

-

-  `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a

-trembling voice, `--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week

-or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and

-the twinkling of the tea--'

-

-  `The twinkling of the what?' said the King.

-

-  `It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied.

-

-  `Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply.

-`Do you take me for a dunce?  Go on!'

-

-  `I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most things

-twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--'

-

-  `I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.

-

-  `You did!' said the Hatter.

-

-  `I deny it!' said the March Hare.

-

-  `He denies it,' said the King:  `leave out that part.'

-

-  `Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on,

-looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too:  but the

-Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.

-

-  `After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread-

-and-butter--'

-

-  `But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.

-

-  `That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.

-

-  `You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have you

-executed.'

-

-  The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter,

-and went down on one knee.  `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he

-began.

-

-  `You're a very poor speaker,' said the King.

-

-  Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately

-suppressed by the officers of the court.  (As that is rather a

-hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done.  They had

-a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings:

-into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat

-upon it.)

-

-  `I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice.  `I've so often

-read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some

-attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the

-officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant

-till now.'

-

-  `If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,'

-continued the King.

-

-  `I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter:  `I'm on the floor, as

-it is.'

-

-  `Then you may SIT down,' the King replied.

-

-  Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.

-

-  `Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice.  `Now we

-shall get on better.'

-

-  `I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious

-look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.

-

-  `You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the

-court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.

-

-  `--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one

-of the officers:  but the Hatter was out of sight before the

-officer could get to the door.

-

-  `Call the next witness!' said the King.

-

-  The next witness was the Duchess's cook.  She carried the

-pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before

-she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began

-sneezing all at once.

-

-  `Give your evidence,' said the King.

-

-  `Shan't,' said the cook.

-

-  The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a

-low voice, `Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.'

-

-  `Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy

-air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till

-his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, `What

-are tarts made of?'

-

-  `Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.

-

-  `Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.

-

-  `Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out.  `Behead that

-Dormouse!  Turn that Dormouse out of court!  Suppress him!  Pinch

-him!  Off with his whiskers!'

-

-  For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the

-Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down

-again, the cook had disappeared.

-

-  `Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief.

-`Call the next witness.'  And he added in an undertone to the

-Queen, `Really, my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness.

-It quite makes my forehead ache!'

-

-  Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list,

-feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like,

-`--for they haven't got much evidence YET,' she said to herself.

-Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top

-of his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!'

-

-

-

-                           CHAPTER XII

-

-                        Alice's Evidence

-

-

-  `Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the

-moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she

-jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with

-the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads

-of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding

-her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset

-the week before.

-

-  `Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great

-dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could,

-for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and

-she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once

-and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.

-

-  `The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave

-voice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper places--

-ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as

-he said do.

-

-  Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she

-had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing

-was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable

-to move.  She soon got it out again, and put it right; `not that

-it signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should think it

-would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.'

-

-  As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of

-being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and

-handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write

-out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed

-too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open,

-gazing up into the roof of the court.

-

-  `What do you know about this business?' the King said to

-Alice.

-

-  `Nothing,' said Alice.

-

-  `Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.

-

-  `Nothing whatever,' said Alice.

-

-  `That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury.

-They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when

-the White Rabbit interrupted:  `UNimportant, your Majesty means,

-of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and

-making faces at him as he spoke.

-

-  `UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and

-went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant--

-unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word

-sounded best.

-

-  Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some

-`unimportant.'  Alice could see this, as she was near enough to

-look over their slates; `but it doesn't matter a bit,' she

-thought to herself.

-

-  At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily

-writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read out

-from his book, `Rule Forty-two.  ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE

-HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'

-

-  Everybody looked at Alice.

-

-  `I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.

-

-  `You are,' said the King.

-

-  `Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.

-

-  `Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice:  `besides,

-that's not a regular rule:  you invented it just now.'

-

-  `It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.

-

-  `Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.

-

-  The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily.

-`Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling

-voice.

-

-  `There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said

-the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper has

-just been picked up.'

-

-  `What's in it?' said the Queen.

-

-  `I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seems

-to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.'

-

-  `It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was

-written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'

-

-  `Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.

-

-  `It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact,

-there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.'  He unfolded the paper

-as he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all:  it's a set

-of verses.'

-

-  `Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of

-they jurymen.

-

-  `No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the

-queerest thing about it.'  (The jury all looked puzzled.)

-

-  `He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King.

-(The jury all brightened up again.)

-

-  `Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and

-they can't prove I did:  there's no name signed at the end.'

-

-  `If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the

-matter worse.  You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd

-have signed your name like an honest man.'

-

-  There was a general clapping of hands at this:  it was the

-first really clever thing the King had said that day.

-

-  `That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.

-

-  `It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice.  `Why, you don't

-even know what they're about!'

-

-  `Read them,' said the King.

-

-  The White Rabbit put on his spectacles.  `Where shall I begin,

-please your Majesty?' he asked.

-

-  `Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on

-till you come to the end:  then stop.'

-

-  These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--

-

-        `They told me you had been to her,

-          And mentioned me to him:

-        She gave me a good character,

-          But said I could not swim.

-

-        He sent them word I had not gone

-          (We know it to be true):

-        If she should push the matter on,

-          What would become of you?

-

-        I gave her one, they gave him two,

-          You gave us three or more;

-        They all returned from him to you,

-          Though they were mine before.

-

-        If I or she should chance to be

-          Involved in this affair,

-        He trusts to you to set them free,

-          Exactly as we were.

-

-        My notion was that you had been

-          (Before she had this fit)

-        An obstacle that came between

-          Him, and ourselves, and it.

-

-        Don't let him know she liked them best,

-          For this must ever be

-        A secret, kept from all the rest,

-          Between yourself and me.'

-

-  `That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,'

-said the King, rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--'

-

-  `If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had

-grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit

-afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence.  _I_ don't

-believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'

-

-  The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe

-there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to

-explain the paper.

-

-  `If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a

-world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any.  And

-yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his

-knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem to see some

-meaning in them, after all.  "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you

-can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.

-

-  The Knave shook his head sadly.  `Do I look like it?' he said.

-(Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)

-

-  `All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering

-over the verses to himself:  `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's

-the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why,

-that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--'

-

-  `But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said

-Alice.

-

-  `Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to

-the tarts on the table.  `Nothing can be clearer than THAT.

-Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--"  you never had fits, my

-dear, I think?' he said to the Queen.

-

-  `Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the

-Lizard as she spoke.  (The unfortunate little Bill had left off

-writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no

-mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was

-trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)

-

-  `Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round

-the court with a smile.  There was a dead silence.

-

-  `It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and

-everybody laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' the

-King said, for about the twentieth time that day.

-

-  `No, no!' said the Queen.  `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.'

-

-  `Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly.  `The idea of having

-the sentence first!'

-

-  `Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.

-

-  `I won't!' said Alice.

-

-  `Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice.

-Nobody moved.

-

-  `Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full

-size by this time.)  `You're nothing but a pack of cards!'

-

-  At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying

-down upon her:  she gave a little scream, half of fright and half

-of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on

-the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently

-brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the

-trees upon her face.

-

-  `Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long

-sleep you've had!'

-

-  `Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told

-her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange

-Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and

-when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, `It WAS a

-curious dream, dear, certainly:  but now run in to your tea; it's

-getting late.'  So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she

-ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.

-

-  But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her

-head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of

-little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began

-dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--

-

-  First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the

-tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes

-were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her

-voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back

-the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and

-still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place

-around her became alive the strange creatures of her little

-sister's dream.

-

-  The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried

-by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the

-neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as

-the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal,

-and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate

-guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the

-Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once

-more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's

-slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs,

-filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable

-Mock Turtle.

-

-  So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in

-Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and

-all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only

-rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the

-reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-

-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd

-boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and

-all thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the

-confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the

-cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's

-heavy sobs.

-

-  Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of

-hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how

-she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and

-loving heart of her childhood:  and how she would gather about

-her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager

-with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of

-Wonderland of long ago:  and how she would feel with all their

-simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys,

-remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.

-

-                             THE END

-
\ No newline at end of file