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diff --git a/debian/vendor-h2o/deps/brotli/tests/testdata/asyoulik.txt b/debian/vendor-h2o/deps/brotli/tests/testdata/asyoulik.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 88dc7b6..0000000 --- a/debian/vendor-h2o/deps/brotli/tests/testdata/asyoulik.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4122 +0,0 @@ - AS YOU LIKE IT - - - DRAMATIS PERSONAE - - -DUKE SENIOR living in banishment. - -DUKE FREDERICK his brother, an usurper of his dominions. - - -AMIENS | - | lords attending on the banished duke. -JAQUES | - - -LE BEAU a courtier attending upon Frederick. - -CHARLES wrestler to Frederick. - - -OLIVER | - | -JAQUES (JAQUES DE BOYS:) | sons of Sir Rowland de Boys. - | -ORLANDO | - - -ADAM | - | servants to Oliver. -DENNIS | - - -TOUCHSTONE a clown. - -SIR OLIVER MARTEXT a vicar. - - -CORIN | - | shepherds. -SILVIUS | - - -WILLIAM a country fellow in love with Audrey. - - A person representing HYMEN. (HYMEN:) - -ROSALIND daughter to the banished duke. - -CELIA daughter to Frederick. - -PHEBE a shepherdess. - -AUDREY a country wench. - - Lords, pages, and attendants, &c. - (Forester:) - (A Lord:) - (First Lord:) - (Second Lord:) - (First Page:) - (Second Page:) - - -SCENE Oliver's house; Duke Frederick's court; and the - Forest of Arden. - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT I - - - -SCENE I Orchard of Oliver's house. - - - [Enter ORLANDO and ADAM] - -ORLANDO As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion - bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand crowns, - and, as thou sayest, charged my brother, on his - blessing, to breed me well: and there begins my - sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and - report speaks goldenly of his profit: for my part, - he keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak more - properly, stays me here at home unkept; for call you - that keeping for a gentleman of my birth, that - differs not from the stalling of an ox? His horses - are bred better; for, besides that they are fair - with their feeding, they are taught their manage, - and to that end riders dearly hired: but I, his - brother, gain nothing under him but growth; for the - which his animals on his dunghills are as much - bound to him as I. Besides this nothing that he so - plentifully gives me, the something that nature gave - me his countenance seems to take from me: he lets - me feed with his hinds, bars me the place of a - brother, and, as much as in him lies, mines my - gentility with my education. This is it, Adam, that - grieves me; and the spirit of my father, which I - think is within me, begins to mutiny against this - servitude: I will no longer endure it, though yet I - know no wise remedy how to avoid it. - -ADAM Yonder comes my master, your brother. - -ORLANDO Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will - shake me up. - - [Enter OLIVER] - -OLIVER Now, sir! what make you here? - -ORLANDO Nothing: I am not taught to make any thing. - -OLIVER What mar you then, sir? - -ORLANDO Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which God - made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness. - -OLIVER Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught awhile. - -ORLANDO Shall I keep your hogs and eat husks with them? - What prodigal portion have I spent, that I should - come to such penury? - -OLIVER Know you where your are, sir? - -ORLANDO O, sir, very well; here in your orchard. - -OLIVER Know you before whom, sir? - -ORLANDO Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I know - you are my eldest brother; and, in the gentle - condition of blood, you should so know me. The - courtesy of nations allows you my better, in that - you are the first-born; but the same tradition - takes not away my blood, were there twenty brothers - betwixt us: I have as much of my father in me as - you; albeit, I confess, your coming before me is - nearer to his reverence. - -OLIVER What, boy! - -ORLANDO Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this. - -OLIVER Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain? - -ORLANDO I am no villain; I am the youngest son of Sir - Rowland de Boys; he was my father, and he is thrice - a villain that says such a father begot villains. - Wert thou not my brother, I would not take this hand - from thy throat till this other had pulled out thy - tongue for saying so: thou hast railed on thyself. - -ADAM Sweet masters, be patient: for your father's - remembrance, be at accord. - -OLIVER Let me go, I say. - -ORLANDO I will not, till I please: you shall hear me. My - father charged you in his will to give me good - education: you have trained me like a peasant, - obscuring and hiding from me all gentleman-like - qualities. The spirit of my father grows strong in - me, and I will no longer endure it: therefore allow - me such exercises as may become a gentleman, or - give me the poor allottery my father left me by - testament; with that I will go buy my fortunes. - -OLIVER And what wilt thou do? beg, when that is spent? - Well, sir, get you in: I will not long be troubled - with you; you shall have some part of your will: I - pray you, leave me. - -ORLANDO I will no further offend you than becomes me for my good. - -OLIVER Get you with him, you old dog. - -ADAM Is 'old dog' my reward? Most true, I have lost my - teeth in your service. God be with my old master! - he would not have spoke such a word. - - [Exeunt ORLANDO and ADAM] - -OLIVER Is it even so? begin you to grow upon me? I will - physic your rankness, and yet give no thousand - crowns neither. Holla, Dennis! - - [Enter DENNIS] - -DENNIS Calls your worship? - -OLIVER Was not Charles, the duke's wrestler, here to speak with me? - -DENNIS So please you, he is here at the door and importunes - access to you. - -OLIVER Call him in. - - [Exit DENNIS] - - 'Twill be a good way; and to-morrow the wrestling is. - - [Enter CHARLES] - -CHARLES Good morrow to your worship. - -OLIVER Good Monsieur Charles, what's the new news at the - new court? - -CHARLES There's no news at the court, sir, but the old news: - that is, the old duke is banished by his younger - brother the new duke; and three or four loving lords - have put themselves into voluntary exile with him, - whose lands and revenues enrich the new duke; - therefore he gives them good leave to wander. - -OLIVER Can you tell if Rosalind, the duke's daughter, be - banished with her father? - -CHARLES O, no; for the duke's daughter, her cousin, so loves - her, being ever from their cradles bred together, - that she would have followed her exile, or have died - to stay behind her. She is at the court, and no - less beloved of her uncle than his own daughter; and - never two ladies loved as they do. - -OLIVER Where will the old duke live? - -CHARLES They say he is already in the forest of Arden, and - a many merry men with him; and there they live like - the old Robin Hood of England: they say many young - gentlemen flock to him every day, and fleet the time - carelessly, as they did in the golden world. - -OLIVER What, you wrestle to-morrow before the new duke? - -CHARLES Marry, do I, sir; and I came to acquaint you with a - matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand - that your younger brother Orlando hath a disposition - to come in disguised against me to try a fall. - To-morrow, sir, I wrestle for my credit; and he that - escapes me without some broken limb shall acquit him - well. Your brother is but young and tender; and, - for your love, I would be loath to foil him, as I - must, for my own honour, if he come in: therefore, - out of my love to you, I came hither to acquaint you - withal, that either you might stay him from his - intendment or brook such disgrace well as he shall - run into, in that it is a thing of his own search - and altogether against my will. - -OLIVER Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, which - thou shalt find I will most kindly requite. I had - myself notice of my brother's purpose herein and - have by underhand means laboured to dissuade him from - it, but he is resolute. I'll tell thee, Charles: - it is the stubbornest young fellow of France, full - of ambition, an envious emulator of every man's - good parts, a secret and villanous contriver against - me his natural brother: therefore use thy - discretion; I had as lief thou didst break his neck - as his finger. And thou wert best look to't; for if - thou dost him any slight disgrace or if he do not - mightily grace himself on thee, he will practise - against thee by poison, entrap thee by some - treacherous device and never leave thee till he - hath ta'en thy life by some indirect means or other; - for, I assure thee, and almost with tears I speak - it, there is not one so young and so villanous this - day living. I speak but brotherly of him; but - should I anatomize him to thee as he is, I must - blush and weep and thou must look pale and wonder. - -CHARLES I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he come - to-morrow, I'll give him his payment: if ever he go - alone again, I'll never wrestle for prize more: and - so God keep your worship! - -OLIVER Farewell, good Charles. - - [Exit CHARLES] - - Now will I stir this gamester: I hope I shall see - an end of him; for my soul, yet I know not why, - hates nothing more than he. Yet he's gentle, never - schooled and yet learned, full of noble device, of - all sorts enchantingly beloved, and indeed so much - in the heart of the world, and especially of my own - people, who best know him, that I am altogether - misprised: but it shall not be so long; this - wrestler shall clear all: nothing remains but that - I kindle the boy thither; which now I'll go about. - - [Exit] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT I - - - -SCENE II Lawn before the Duke's palace. - - - [Enter CELIA and ROSALIND] - -CELIA I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry. - -ROSALIND Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of; - and would you yet I were merrier? Unless you could - teach me to forget a banished father, you must not - learn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure. - -CELIA Herein I see thou lovest me not with the full weight - that I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father, - had banished thy uncle, the duke my father, so thou - hadst been still with me, I could have taught my - love to take thy father for mine: so wouldst thou, - if the truth of thy love to me were so righteously - tempered as mine is to thee. - -ROSALIND Well, I will forget the condition of my estate, to - rejoice in yours. - -CELIA You know my father hath no child but I, nor none is - like to have: and, truly, when he dies, thou shalt - be his heir, for what he hath taken away from thy - father perforce, I will render thee again in - affection; by mine honour, I will; and when I break - that oath, let me turn monster: therefore, my - sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry. - -ROSALIND From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports. Let - me see; what think you of falling in love? - -CELIA Marry, I prithee, do, to make sport withal: but - love no man in good earnest; nor no further in sport - neither than with safety of a pure blush thou mayst - in honour come off again. - -ROSALIND What shall be our sport, then? - -CELIA Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune from - her wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally. - -ROSALIND I would we could do so, for her benefits are - mightily misplaced, and the bountiful blind woman - doth most mistake in her gifts to women. - -CELIA 'Tis true; for those that she makes fair she scarce - makes honest, and those that she makes honest she - makes very ill-favouredly. - -ROSALIND Nay, now thou goest from Fortune's office to - Nature's: Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, - not in the lineaments of Nature. - - [Enter TOUCHSTONE] - -CELIA No? when Nature hath made a fair creature, may she - not by Fortune fall into the fire? Though Nature - hath given us wit to flout at Fortune, hath not - Fortune sent in this fool to cut off the argument? - -ROSALIND Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when - Fortune makes Nature's natural the cutter-off of - Nature's wit. - -CELIA Peradventure this is not Fortune's work neither, but - Nature's; who perceiveth our natural wits too dull - to reason of such goddesses and hath sent this - natural for our whetstone; for always the dulness of - the fool is the whetstone of the wits. How now, - wit! whither wander you? - -TOUCHSTONE Mistress, you must come away to your father. - -CELIA Were you made the messenger? - -TOUCHSTONE No, by mine honour, but I was bid to come for you. - -ROSALIND Where learned you that oath, fool? - -TOUCHSTONE Of a certain knight that swore by his honour they - were good pancakes and swore by his honour the - mustard was naught: now I'll stand to it, the - pancakes were naught and the mustard was good, and - yet was not the knight forsworn. - -CELIA How prove you that, in the great heap of your - knowledge? - -ROSALIND Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom. - -TOUCHSTONE Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins, and - swear by your beards that I am a knave. - -CELIA By our beards, if we had them, thou art. - -TOUCHSTONE By my knavery, if I had it, then I were; but if you - swear by that that is not, you are not forsworn: no - more was this knight swearing by his honour, for he - never had any; or if he had, he had sworn it away - before ever he saw those pancakes or that mustard. - -CELIA Prithee, who is't that thou meanest? - -TOUCHSTONE One that old Frederick, your father, loves. - -CELIA My father's love is enough to honour him: enough! - speak no more of him; you'll be whipped for taxation - one of these days. - -TOUCHSTONE The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what - wise men do foolishly. - -CELIA By my troth, thou sayest true; for since the little - wit that fools have was silenced, the little foolery - that wise men have makes a great show. Here comes - Monsieur Le Beau. - -ROSALIND With his mouth full of news. - -CELIA Which he will put on us, as pigeons feed their young. - -ROSALIND Then shall we be news-crammed. - -CELIA All the better; we shall be the more marketable. - - [Enter LE BEAU] - - Bon jour, Monsieur Le Beau: what's the news? - -LE BEAU Fair princess, you have lost much good sport. - -CELIA Sport! of what colour? - -LE BEAU What colour, madam! how shall I answer you? - -ROSALIND As wit and fortune will. - -TOUCHSTONE Or as the Destinies decree. - -CELIA Well said: that was laid on with a trowel. - -TOUCHSTONE Nay, if I keep not my rank,-- - -ROSALIND Thou losest thy old smell. - -LE BEAU You amaze me, ladies: I would have told you of good - wrestling, which you have lost the sight of. - -ROSALIND You tell us the manner of the wrestling. - -LE BEAU I will tell you the beginning; and, if it please - your ladyships, you may see the end; for the best is - yet to do; and here, where you are, they are coming - to perform it. - -CELIA Well, the beginning, that is dead and buried. - -LE BEAU There comes an old man and his three sons,-- - -CELIA I could match this beginning with an old tale. - -LE BEAU Three proper young men, of excellent growth and presence. - -ROSALIND With bills on their necks, 'Be it known unto all men - by these presents.' - -LE BEAU The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the - duke's wrestler; which Charles in a moment threw him - and broke three of his ribs, that there is little - hope of life in him: so he served the second, and - so the third. Yonder they lie; the poor old man, - their father, making such pitiful dole over them - that all the beholders take his part with weeping. - -ROSALIND Alas! - -TOUCHSTONE But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies - have lost? - -LE BEAU Why, this that I speak of. - -TOUCHSTONE Thus men may grow wiser every day: it is the first - time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport - for ladies. - -CELIA Or I, I promise thee. - -ROSALIND But is there any else longs to see this broken music - in his sides? is there yet another dotes upon - rib-breaking? Shall we see this wrestling, cousin? - -LE BEAU You must, if you stay here; for here is the place - appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to - perform it. - -CELIA Yonder, sure, they are coming: let us now stay and see it. - - [Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, Lords, ORLANDO, - CHARLES, and Attendants] - -DUKE FREDERICK Come on: since the youth will not be entreated, his - own peril on his forwardness. - -ROSALIND Is yonder the man? - -LE BEAU Even he, madam. - -CELIA Alas, he is too young! yet he looks successfully. - -DUKE FREDERICK How now, daughter and cousin! are you crept hither - to see the wrestling? - -ROSALIND Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave. - -DUKE FREDERICK You will take little delight in it, I can tell you; - there is such odds in the man. In pity of the - challenger's youth I would fain dissuade him, but he - will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if - you can move him. - -CELIA Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau. - -DUKE FREDERICK Do so: I'll not be by. - -LE BEAU Monsieur the challenger, the princesses call for you. - -ORLANDO I attend them with all respect and duty. - -ROSALIND Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler? - -ORLANDO No, fair princess; he is the general challenger: I - come but in, as others do, to try with him the - strength of my youth. - -CELIA Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your - years. You have seen cruel proof of this man's - strength: if you saw yourself with your eyes or - knew yourself with your judgment, the fear of your - adventure would counsel you to a more equal - enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, to - embrace your own safety and give over this attempt. - -ROSALIND Do, young sir; your reputation shall not therefore - be misprised: we will make it our suit to the duke - that the wrestling might not go forward. - -ORLANDO I beseech you, punish me not with your hard - thoughts; wherein I confess me much guilty, to deny - so fair and excellent ladies any thing. But let - your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my - trial: wherein if I be foiled, there is but one - shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one - dead that was willing to be so: I shall do my - friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me, the - world no injury, for in it I have nothing; only in - the world I fill up a place, which may be better - supplied when I have made it empty. - -ROSALIND The little strength that I have, I would it were with you. - -CELIA And mine, to eke out hers. - -ROSALIND Fare you well: pray heaven I be deceived in you! - -CELIA Your heart's desires be with you! - -CHARLES Come, where is this young gallant that is so - desirous to lie with his mother earth? - -ORLANDO Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more modest working. - -DUKE FREDERICK You shall try but one fall. - -CHARLES No, I warrant your grace, you shall not entreat him - to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him - from a first. - -ORLANDO An you mean to mock me after, you should not have - mocked me before: but come your ways. - -ROSALIND Now Hercules be thy speed, young man! - -CELIA I would I were invisible, to catch the strong - fellow by the leg. - - [They wrestle] - -ROSALIND O excellent young man! - -CELIA If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who - should down. - - [Shout. CHARLES is thrown] - -DUKE FREDERICK No more, no more. - -ORLANDO Yes, I beseech your grace: I am not yet well breathed. - -DUKE FREDERICK How dost thou, Charles? - -LE BEAU He cannot speak, my lord. - -DUKE FREDERICK Bear him away. What is thy name, young man? - -ORLANDO Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys. - -DUKE FREDERICK I would thou hadst been son to some man else: - The world esteem'd thy father honourable, - But I did find him still mine enemy: - Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed, - Hadst thou descended from another house. - But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth: - I would thou hadst told me of another father. - - [Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, train, and LE BEAU] - -CELIA Were I my father, coz, would I do this? - -ORLANDO I am more proud to be Sir Rowland's son, - His youngest son; and would not change that calling, - To be adopted heir to Frederick. - -ROSALIND My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul, - And all the world was of my father's mind: - Had I before known this young man his son, - I should have given him tears unto entreaties, - Ere he should thus have ventured. - -CELIA Gentle cousin, - Let us go thank him and encourage him: - My father's rough and envious disposition - Sticks me at heart. Sir, you have well deserved: - If you do keep your promises in love - But justly, as you have exceeded all promise, - Your mistress shall be happy. - -ROSALIND Gentleman, - - [Giving him a chain from her neck] - - Wear this for me, one out of suits with fortune, - That could give more, but that her hand lacks means. - Shall we go, coz? - -CELIA Ay. Fare you well, fair gentleman. - -ORLANDO Can I not say, I thank you? My better parts - Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up - Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block. - -ROSALIND He calls us back: my pride fell with my fortunes; - I'll ask him what he would. Did you call, sir? - Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown - More than your enemies. - -CELIA Will you go, coz? - -ROSALIND Have with you. Fare you well. - - [Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA] - -ORLANDO What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue? - I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference. - O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown! - Or Charles or something weaker masters thee. - - [Re-enter LE BEAU] - -LE BEAU Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you - To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved - High commendation, true applause and love, - Yet such is now the duke's condition - That he misconstrues all that you have done. - The duke is humorous; what he is indeed, - More suits you to conceive than I to speak of. - -ORLANDO I thank you, sir: and, pray you, tell me this: - Which of the two was daughter of the duke - That here was at the wrestling? - -LE BEAU Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners; - But yet indeed the lesser is his daughter - The other is daughter to the banish'd duke, - And here detain'd by her usurping uncle, - To keep his daughter company; whose loves - Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters. - But I can tell you that of late this duke - Hath ta'en displeasure 'gainst his gentle niece, - Grounded upon no other argument - But that the people praise her for her virtues - And pity her for her good father's sake; - And, on my life, his malice 'gainst the lady - Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well: - Hereafter, in a better world than this, - I shall desire more love and knowledge of you. - -ORLANDO I rest much bounden to you: fare you well. - - [Exit LE BEAU] - - Thus must I from the smoke into the smother; - From tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother: - But heavenly Rosalind! - - [Exit] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT I - - - -SCENE III A room in the palace. - - - [Enter CELIA and ROSALIND] - -CELIA Why, cousin! why, Rosalind! Cupid have mercy! not a word? - -ROSALIND Not one to throw at a dog. - -CELIA No, thy words are too precious to be cast away upon - curs; throw some of them at me; come, lame me with reasons. - -ROSALIND Then there were two cousins laid up; when the one - should be lamed with reasons and the other mad - without any. - -CELIA But is all this for your father? - -ROSALIND No, some of it is for my child's father. O, how - full of briers is this working-day world! - -CELIA They are but burs, cousin, thrown upon thee in - holiday foolery: if we walk not in the trodden - paths our very petticoats will catch them. - -ROSALIND I could shake them off my coat: these burs are in my heart. - -CELIA Hem them away. - -ROSALIND I would try, if I could cry 'hem' and have him. - -CELIA Come, come, wrestle with thy affections. - -ROSALIND O, they take the part of a better wrestler than myself! - -CELIA O, a good wish upon you! you will try in time, in - despite of a fall. But, turning these jests out of - service, let us talk in good earnest: is it - possible, on such a sudden, you should fall into so - strong a liking with old Sir Rowland's youngest son? - -ROSALIND The duke my father loved his father dearly. - -CELIA Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son - dearly? By this kind of chase, I should hate him, - for my father hated his father dearly; yet I hate - not Orlando. - -ROSALIND No, faith, hate him not, for my sake. - -CELIA Why should I not? doth he not deserve well? - -ROSALIND Let me love him for that, and do you love him - because I do. Look, here comes the duke. - -CELIA With his eyes full of anger. - - [Enter DUKE FREDERICK, with Lords] - -DUKE FREDERICK Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste - And get you from our court. - -ROSALIND Me, uncle? - -DUKE FREDERICK You, cousin - Within these ten days if that thou be'st found - So near our public court as twenty miles, - Thou diest for it. - -ROSALIND I do beseech your grace, - Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me: - If with myself I hold intelligence - Or have acquaintance with mine own desires, - If that I do not dream or be not frantic,-- - As I do trust I am not--then, dear uncle, - Never so much as in a thought unborn - Did I offend your highness. - -DUKE FREDERICK Thus do all traitors: - If their purgation did consist in words, - They are as innocent as grace itself: - Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not. - -ROSALIND Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor: - Tell me whereon the likelihood depends. - -DUKE FREDERICK Thou art thy father's daughter; there's enough. - -ROSALIND So was I when your highness took his dukedom; - So was I when your highness banish'd him: - Treason is not inherited, my lord; - Or, if we did derive it from our friends, - What's that to me? my father was no traitor: - Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much - To think my poverty is treacherous. - -CELIA Dear sovereign, hear me speak. - -DUKE FREDERICK Ay, Celia; we stay'd her for your sake, - Else had she with her father ranged along. - -CELIA I did not then entreat to have her stay; - It was your pleasure and your own remorse: - I was too young that time to value her; - But now I know her: if she be a traitor, - Why so am I; we still have slept together, - Rose at an instant, learn'd, play'd, eat together, - And wheresoever we went, like Juno's swans, - Still we went coupled and inseparable. - -DUKE FREDERICK She is too subtle for thee; and her smoothness, - Her very silence and her patience - Speak to the people, and they pity her. - Thou art a fool: she robs thee of thy name; - And thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous - When she is gone. Then open not thy lips: - Firm and irrevocable is my doom - Which I have pass'd upon her; she is banish'd. - -CELIA Pronounce that sentence then on me, my liege: - I cannot live out of her company. - -DUKE FREDERICK You are a fool. You, niece, provide yourself: - If you outstay the time, upon mine honour, - And in the greatness of my word, you die. - - [Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK and Lords] - -CELIA O my poor Rosalind, whither wilt thou go? - Wilt thou change fathers? I will give thee mine. - I charge thee, be not thou more grieved than I am. - -ROSALIND I have more cause. - -CELIA Thou hast not, cousin; - Prithee be cheerful: know'st thou not, the duke - Hath banish'd me, his daughter? - -ROSALIND That he hath not. - -CELIA No, hath not? Rosalind lacks then the love - Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one: - Shall we be sunder'd? shall we part, sweet girl? - No: let my father seek another heir. - Therefore devise with me how we may fly, - Whither to go and what to bear with us; - And do not seek to take your change upon you, - To bear your griefs yourself and leave me out; - For, by this heaven, now at our sorrows pale, - Say what thou canst, I'll go along with thee. - -ROSALIND Why, whither shall we go? - -CELIA To seek my uncle in the forest of Arden. - -ROSALIND Alas, what danger will it be to us, - Maids as we are, to travel forth so far! - Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold. - -CELIA I'll put myself in poor and mean attire - And with a kind of umber smirch my face; - The like do you: so shall we pass along - And never stir assailants. - -ROSALIND Were it not better, - Because that I am more than common tall, - That I did suit me all points like a man? - A gallant curtle-axe upon my thigh, - A boar-spear in my hand; and--in my heart - Lie there what hidden woman's fear there will-- - We'll have a swashing and a martial outside, - As many other mannish cowards have - That do outface it with their semblances. - -CELIA What shall I call thee when thou art a man? - -ROSALIND I'll have no worse a name than Jove's own page; - And therefore look you call me Ganymede. - But what will you be call'd? - -CELIA Something that hath a reference to my state - No longer Celia, but Aliena. - -ROSALIND But, cousin, what if we assay'd to steal - The clownish fool out of your father's court? - Would he not be a comfort to our travel? - -CELIA He'll go along o'er the wide world with me; - Leave me alone to woo him. Let's away, - And get our jewels and our wealth together, - Devise the fittest time and safest way - To hide us from pursuit that will be made - After my flight. Now go we in content - To liberty and not to banishment. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT II - - - -SCENE I The Forest of Arden. - - - [Enter DUKE SENIOR, AMIENS, and two or three Lords, - like foresters] - -DUKE SENIOR Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile, - Hath not old custom made this life more sweet - Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods - More free from peril than the envious court? - Here feel we but the penalty of Adam, - The seasons' difference, as the icy fang - And churlish chiding of the winter's wind, - Which, when it bites and blows upon my body, - Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say - 'This is no flattery: these are counsellors - That feelingly persuade me what I am.' - Sweet are the uses of adversity, - Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous, - Wears yet a precious jewel in his head; - And this our life exempt from public haunt - Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, - Sermons in stones and good in every thing. - I would not change it. - -AMIENS Happy is your grace, - That can translate the stubbornness of fortune - Into so quiet and so sweet a style. - -DUKE SENIOR Come, shall we go and kill us venison? - And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools, - Being native burghers of this desert city, - Should in their own confines with forked heads - Have their round haunches gored. - -First Lord Indeed, my lord, - The melancholy Jaques grieves at that, - And, in that kind, swears you do more usurp - Than doth your brother that hath banish'd you. - To-day my Lord of Amiens and myself - Did steal behind him as he lay along - Under an oak whose antique root peeps out - Upon the brook that brawls along this wood: - To the which place a poor sequester'd stag, - That from the hunter's aim had ta'en a hurt, - Did come to languish, and indeed, my lord, - The wretched animal heaved forth such groans - That their discharge did stretch his leathern coat - Almost to bursting, and the big round tears - Coursed one another down his innocent nose - In piteous chase; and thus the hairy fool - Much marked of the melancholy Jaques, - Stood on the extremest verge of the swift brook, - Augmenting it with tears. - -DUKE SENIOR But what said Jaques? - Did he not moralize this spectacle? - -First Lord O, yes, into a thousand similes. - First, for his weeping into the needless stream; - 'Poor deer,' quoth he, 'thou makest a testament - As worldlings do, giving thy sum of more - To that which had too much:' then, being there alone, - Left and abandon'd of his velvet friends, - ''Tis right:' quoth he; 'thus misery doth part - The flux of company:' anon a careless herd, - Full of the pasture, jumps along by him - And never stays to greet him; 'Ay' quoth Jaques, - 'Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens; - 'Tis just the fashion: wherefore do you look - Upon that poor and broken bankrupt there?' - Thus most invectively he pierceth through - The body of the country, city, court, - Yea, and of this our life, swearing that we - Are mere usurpers, tyrants and what's worse, - To fright the animals and to kill them up - In their assign'd and native dwelling-place. - -DUKE SENIOR And did you leave him in this contemplation? - -Second Lord We did, my lord, weeping and commenting - Upon the sobbing deer. - -DUKE SENIOR Show me the place: - I love to cope him in these sullen fits, - For then he's full of matter. - -First Lord I'll bring you to him straight. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT II - - - -SCENE II A room in the palace. - - - [Enter DUKE FREDERICK, with Lords] - -DUKE FREDERICK Can it be possible that no man saw them? - It cannot be: some villains of my court - Are of consent and sufferance in this. - -First Lord I cannot hear of any that did see her. - The ladies, her attendants of her chamber, - Saw her abed, and in the morning early - They found the bed untreasured of their mistress. - -Second Lord My lord, the roynish clown, at whom so oft - Your grace was wont to laugh, is also missing. - Hisperia, the princess' gentlewoman, - Confesses that she secretly o'erheard - Your daughter and her cousin much commend - The parts and graces of the wrestler - That did but lately foil the sinewy Charles; - And she believes, wherever they are gone, - That youth is surely in their company. - -DUKE FREDERICK Send to his brother; fetch that gallant hither; - If he be absent, bring his brother to me; - I'll make him find him: do this suddenly, - And let not search and inquisition quail - To bring again these foolish runaways. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT II - - - -SCENE III Before OLIVER'S house. - - - [Enter ORLANDO and ADAM, meeting] - -ORLANDO Who's there? - -ADAM What, my young master? O, my gentle master! - O my sweet master! O you memory - Of old Sir Rowland! why, what make you here? - Why are you virtuous? why do people love you? - And wherefore are you gentle, strong and valiant? - Why would you be so fond to overcome - The bonny priser of the humorous duke? - Your praise is come too swiftly home before you. - Know you not, master, to some kind of men - Their graces serve them but as enemies? - No more do yours: your virtues, gentle master, - Are sanctified and holy traitors to you. - O, what a world is this, when what is comely - Envenoms him that bears it! - -ORLANDO Why, what's the matter? - -ADAM O unhappy youth! - Come not within these doors; within this roof - The enemy of all your graces lives: - Your brother--no, no brother; yet the son-- - Yet not the son, I will not call him son - Of him I was about to call his father-- - Hath heard your praises, and this night he means - To burn the lodging where you use to lie - And you within it: if he fail of that, - He will have other means to cut you off. - I overheard him and his practises. - This is no place; this house is but a butchery: - Abhor it, fear it, do not enter it. - -ORLANDO Why, whither, Adam, wouldst thou have me go? - -ADAM No matter whither, so you come not here. - -ORLANDO What, wouldst thou have me go and beg my food? - Or with a base and boisterous sword enforce - A thievish living on the common road? - This I must do, or know not what to do: - Yet this I will not do, do how I can; - I rather will subject me to the malice - Of a diverted blood and bloody brother. - -ADAM But do not so. I have five hundred crowns, - The thrifty hire I saved under your father, - Which I did store to be my foster-nurse - When service should in my old limbs lie lame - And unregarded age in corners thrown: - Take that, and He that doth the ravens feed, - Yea, providently caters for the sparrow, - Be comfort to my age! Here is the gold; - And all this I give you. Let me be your servant: - Though I look old, yet I am strong and lusty; - For in my youth I never did apply - Hot and rebellious liquors in my blood, - Nor did not with unbashful forehead woo - The means of weakness and debility; - Therefore my age is as a lusty winter, - Frosty, but kindly: let me go with you; - I'll do the service of a younger man - In all your business and necessities. - -ORLANDO O good old man, how well in thee appears - The constant service of the antique world, - When service sweat for duty, not for meed! - Thou art not for the fashion of these times, - Where none will sweat but for promotion, - And having that, do choke their service up - Even with the having: it is not so with thee. - But, poor old man, thou prunest a rotten tree, - That cannot so much as a blossom yield - In lieu of all thy pains and husbandry - But come thy ways; well go along together, - And ere we have thy youthful wages spent, - We'll light upon some settled low content. - -ADAM Master, go on, and I will follow thee, - To the last gasp, with truth and loyalty. - From seventeen years till now almost fourscore - Here lived I, but now live here no more. - At seventeen years many their fortunes seek; - But at fourscore it is too late a week: - Yet fortune cannot recompense me better - Than to die well and not my master's debtor. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT II - - - -SCENE IV The Forest of Arden. - - - [Enter ROSALIND for Ganymede, CELIA for Aliena, - and TOUCHSTONE] - -ROSALIND O Jupiter, how weary are my spirits! - -TOUCHSTONE I care not for my spirits, if my legs were not weary. - -ROSALIND I could find in my heart to disgrace my man's - apparel and to cry like a woman; but I must comfort - the weaker vessel, as doublet and hose ought to show - itself courageous to petticoat: therefore courage, - good Aliena! - -CELIA I pray you, bear with me; I cannot go no further. - -TOUCHSTONE For my part, I had rather bear with you than bear - you; yet I should bear no cross if I did bear you, - for I think you have no money in your purse. - -ROSALIND Well, this is the forest of Arden. - -TOUCHSTONE Ay, now am I in Arden; the more fool I; when I was - at home, I was in a better place: but travellers - must be content. - -ROSALIND Ay, be so, good Touchstone. - - [Enter CORIN and SILVIUS] - - Look you, who comes here; a young man and an old in - solemn talk. - -CORIN That is the way to make her scorn you still. - -SILVIUS O Corin, that thou knew'st how I do love her! - -CORIN I partly guess; for I have loved ere now. - -SILVIUS No, Corin, being old, thou canst not guess, - Though in thy youth thou wast as true a lover - As ever sigh'd upon a midnight pillow: - But if thy love were ever like to mine-- - As sure I think did never man love so-- - How many actions most ridiculous - Hast thou been drawn to by thy fantasy? - -CORIN Into a thousand that I have forgotten. - -SILVIUS O, thou didst then ne'er love so heartily! - If thou remember'st not the slightest folly - That ever love did make thee run into, - Thou hast not loved: - Or if thou hast not sat as I do now, - Wearying thy hearer in thy mistress' praise, - Thou hast not loved: - Or if thou hast not broke from company - Abruptly, as my passion now makes me, - Thou hast not loved. - O Phebe, Phebe, Phebe! - - [Exit] - -ROSALIND Alas, poor shepherd! searching of thy wound, - I have by hard adventure found mine own. - -TOUCHSTONE And I mine. I remember, when I was in love I broke - my sword upon a stone and bid him take that for - coming a-night to Jane Smile; and I remember the - kissing of her batlet and the cow's dugs that her - pretty chopt hands had milked; and I remember the - wooing of a peascod instead of her, from whom I took - two cods and, giving her them again, said with - weeping tears 'Wear these for my sake.' We that are - true lovers run into strange capers; but as all is - mortal in nature, so is all nature in love mortal in folly. - -ROSALIND Thou speakest wiser than thou art ware of. - -TOUCHSTONE Nay, I shall ne'er be ware of mine own wit till I - break my shins against it. - -ROSALIND Jove, Jove! this shepherd's passion - Is much upon my fashion. - -TOUCHSTONE And mine; but it grows something stale with me. - -CELIA I pray you, one of you question yond man - If he for gold will give us any food: - I faint almost to death. - -TOUCHSTONE Holla, you clown! - -ROSALIND Peace, fool: he's not thy kinsman. - -CORIN Who calls? - -TOUCHSTONE Your betters, sir. - -CORIN Else are they very wretched. - -ROSALIND Peace, I say. Good even to you, friend. - -CORIN And to you, gentle sir, and to you all. - -ROSALIND I prithee, shepherd, if that love or gold - Can in this desert place buy entertainment, - Bring us where we may rest ourselves and feed: - Here's a young maid with travel much oppress'd - And faints for succor. - -CORIN Fair sir, I pity her - And wish, for her sake more than for mine own, - My fortunes were more able to relieve her; - But I am shepherd to another man - And do not shear the fleeces that I graze: - My master is of churlish disposition - And little recks to find the way to heaven - By doing deeds of hospitality: - Besides, his cote, his flocks and bounds of feed - Are now on sale, and at our sheepcote now, - By reason of his absence, there is nothing - That you will feed on; but what is, come see. - And in my voice most welcome shall you be. - -ROSALIND What is he that shall buy his flock and pasture? - -CORIN That young swain that you saw here but erewhile, - That little cares for buying any thing. - -ROSALIND I pray thee, if it stand with honesty, - Buy thou the cottage, pasture and the flock, - And thou shalt have to pay for it of us. - -CELIA And we will mend thy wages. I like this place. - And willingly could waste my time in it. - -CORIN Assuredly the thing is to be sold: - Go with me: if you like upon report - The soil, the profit and this kind of life, - I will your very faithful feeder be - And buy it with your gold right suddenly. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT II - - - -SCENE V The Forest. - - - [Enter AMIENS, JAQUES, and others] - - SONG. -AMIENS Under the greenwood tree - Who loves to lie with me, - And turn his merry note - Unto the sweet bird's throat, - Come hither, come hither, come hither: - Here shall he see No enemy - But winter and rough weather. - -JAQUES More, more, I prithee, more. - -AMIENS It will make you melancholy, Monsieur Jaques. - -JAQUES I thank it. More, I prithee, more. I can suck - melancholy out of a song, as a weasel sucks eggs. - More, I prithee, more. - -AMIENS My voice is ragged: I know I cannot please you. - -JAQUES I do not desire you to please me; I do desire you to - sing. Come, more; another stanzo: call you 'em stanzos? - -AMIENS What you will, Monsieur Jaques. - -JAQUES Nay, I care not for their names; they owe me - nothing. Will you sing? - -AMIENS More at your request than to please myself. - -JAQUES Well then, if ever I thank any man, I'll thank you; - but that they call compliment is like the encounter - of two dog-apes, and when a man thanks me heartily, - methinks I have given him a penny and he renders me - the beggarly thanks. Come, sing; and you that will - not, hold your tongues. - -AMIENS Well, I'll end the song. Sirs, cover the while; the - duke will drink under this tree. He hath been all - this day to look you. - -JAQUES And I have been all this day to avoid him. He is - too disputable for my company: I think of as many - matters as he, but I give heaven thanks and make no - boast of them. Come, warble, come. - - SONG. - Who doth ambition shun - - [All together here] - - And loves to live i' the sun, - Seeking the food he eats - And pleased with what he gets, - Come hither, come hither, come hither: - Here shall he see No enemy - But winter and rough weather. - -JAQUES I'll give you a verse to this note that I made - yesterday in despite of my invention. - -AMIENS And I'll sing it. - -JAQUES Thus it goes:-- - - If it do come to pass - That any man turn ass, - Leaving his wealth and ease, - A stubborn will to please, - Ducdame, ducdame, ducdame: - Here shall he see - Gross fools as he, - An if he will come to me. - -AMIENS What's that 'ducdame'? - -JAQUES 'Tis a Greek invocation, to call fools into a - circle. I'll go sleep, if I can; if I cannot, I'll - rail against all the first-born of Egypt. - -AMIENS And I'll go seek the duke: his banquet is prepared. - - [Exeunt severally] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT II - - - -SCENE VI The forest. - - - [Enter ORLANDO and ADAM] - -ADAM Dear master, I can go no further. O, I die for food! - Here lie I down, and measure out my grave. Farewell, - kind master. - -ORLANDO Why, how now, Adam! no greater heart in thee? Live - a little; comfort a little; cheer thyself a little. - If this uncouth forest yield any thing savage, I - will either be food for it or bring it for food to - thee. Thy conceit is nearer death than thy powers. - For my sake be comfortable; hold death awhile at - the arm's end: I will here be with thee presently; - and if I bring thee not something to eat, I will - give thee leave to die: but if thou diest before I - come, thou art a mocker of my labour. Well said! - thou lookest cheerly, and I'll be with thee quickly. - Yet thou liest in the bleak air: come, I will bear - thee to some shelter; and thou shalt not die for - lack of a dinner, if there live any thing in this - desert. Cheerly, good Adam! - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT II - - - -SCENE VII The forest. - - - [A table set out. Enter DUKE SENIOR, AMIENS, and - Lords like outlaws] - -DUKE SENIOR I think he be transform'd into a beast; - For I can no where find him like a man. - -First Lord My lord, he is but even now gone hence: - Here was he merry, hearing of a song. - -DUKE SENIOR If he, compact of jars, grow musical, - We shall have shortly discord in the spheres. - Go, seek him: tell him I would speak with him. - - [Enter JAQUES] - -First Lord He saves my labour by his own approach. - -DUKE SENIOR Why, how now, monsieur! what a life is this, - That your poor friends must woo your company? - What, you look merrily! - -JAQUES A fool, a fool! I met a fool i' the forest, - A motley fool; a miserable world! - As I do live by food, I met a fool - Who laid him down and bask'd him in the sun, - And rail'd on Lady Fortune in good terms, - In good set terms and yet a motley fool. - 'Good morrow, fool,' quoth I. 'No, sir,' quoth he, - 'Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune:' - And then he drew a dial from his poke, - And, looking on it with lack-lustre eye, - Says very wisely, 'It is ten o'clock: - Thus we may see,' quoth he, 'how the world wags: - 'Tis but an hour ago since it was nine, - And after one hour more 'twill be eleven; - And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe, - And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot; - And thereby hangs a tale.' When I did hear - The motley fool thus moral on the time, - My lungs began to crow like chanticleer, - That fools should be so deep-contemplative, - And I did laugh sans intermission - An hour by his dial. O noble fool! - A worthy fool! Motley's the only wear. - -DUKE SENIOR What fool is this? - -JAQUES O worthy fool! One that hath been a courtier, - And says, if ladies be but young and fair, - They have the gift to know it: and in his brain, - Which is as dry as the remainder biscuit - After a voyage, he hath strange places cramm'd - With observation, the which he vents - In mangled forms. O that I were a fool! - I am ambitious for a motley coat. - -DUKE SENIOR Thou shalt have one. - -JAQUES It is my only suit; - Provided that you weed your better judgments - Of all opinion that grows rank in them - That I am wise. I must have liberty - Withal, as large a charter as the wind, - To blow on whom I please; for so fools have; - And they that are most galled with my folly, - They most must laugh. And why, sir, must they so? - The 'why' is plain as way to parish church: - He that a fool doth very wisely hit - Doth very foolishly, although he smart, - Not to seem senseless of the bob: if not, - The wise man's folly is anatomized - Even by the squandering glances of the fool. - Invest me in my motley; give me leave - To speak my mind, and I will through and through - Cleanse the foul body of the infected world, - If they will patiently receive my medicine. - -DUKE SENIOR Fie on thee! I can tell what thou wouldst do. - -JAQUES What, for a counter, would I do but good? - -DUKE SENIOR Most mischievous foul sin, in chiding sin: - For thou thyself hast been a libertine, - As sensual as the brutish sting itself; - And all the embossed sores and headed evils, - That thou with licence of free foot hast caught, - Wouldst thou disgorge into the general world. - -JAQUES Why, who cries out on pride, - That can therein tax any private party? - Doth it not flow as hugely as the sea, - Till that the weary very means do ebb? - What woman in the city do I name, - When that I say the city-woman bears - The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders? - Who can come in and say that I mean her, - When such a one as she such is her neighbour? - Or what is he of basest function - That says his bravery is not of my cost, - Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits - His folly to the mettle of my speech? - There then; how then? what then? Let me see wherein - My tongue hath wrong'd him: if it do him right, - Then he hath wrong'd himself; if he be free, - Why then my taxing like a wild-goose flies, - Unclaim'd of any man. But who comes here? - - [Enter ORLANDO, with his sword drawn] - -ORLANDO Forbear, and eat no more. - -JAQUES Why, I have eat none yet. - -ORLANDO Nor shalt not, till necessity be served. - -JAQUES Of what kind should this cock come of? - -DUKE SENIOR Art thou thus bolden'd, man, by thy distress, - Or else a rude despiser of good manners, - That in civility thou seem'st so empty? - -ORLANDO You touch'd my vein at first: the thorny point - Of bare distress hath ta'en from me the show - Of smooth civility: yet am I inland bred - And know some nurture. But forbear, I say: - He dies that touches any of this fruit - Till I and my affairs are answered. - -JAQUES An you will not be answered with reason, I must die. - -DUKE SENIOR What would you have? Your gentleness shall force - More than your force move us to gentleness. - -ORLANDO I almost die for food; and let me have it. - -DUKE SENIOR Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table. - -ORLANDO Speak you so gently? Pardon me, I pray you: - I thought that all things had been savage here; - And therefore put I on the countenance - Of stern commandment. But whate'er you are - That in this desert inaccessible, - Under the shade of melancholy boughs, - Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time - If ever you have look'd on better days, - If ever been where bells have knoll'd to church, - If ever sat at any good man's feast, - If ever from your eyelids wiped a tear - And know what 'tis to pity and be pitied, - Let gentleness my strong enforcement be: - In the which hope I blush, and hide my sword. - -DUKE SENIOR True is it that we have seen better days, - And have with holy bell been knoll'd to church - And sat at good men's feasts and wiped our eyes - Of drops that sacred pity hath engender'd: - And therefore sit you down in gentleness - And take upon command what help we have - That to your wanting may be minister'd. - -ORLANDO Then but forbear your food a little while, - Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn - And give it food. There is an old poor man, - Who after me hath many a weary step - Limp'd in pure love: till he be first sufficed, - Oppress'd with two weak evils, age and hunger, - I will not touch a bit. - -DUKE SENIOR Go find him out, - And we will nothing waste till you return. - -ORLANDO I thank ye; and be blest for your good comfort! - - [Exit] - -DUKE SENIOR Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy: - This wide and universal theatre - Presents more woeful pageants than the scene - Wherein we play in. - -JAQUES All the world's a stage, - And all the men and women merely players: - They have their exits and their entrances; - And one man in his time plays many parts, - His acts being seven ages. At first the infant, - Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms. - And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel - And shining morning face, creeping like snail - Unwillingly to school. And then the lover, - Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad - Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier, - Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, - Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, - Seeking the bubble reputation - Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice, - In fair round belly with good capon lined, - With eyes severe and beard of formal cut, - Full of wise saws and modern instances; - And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts - Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon, - With spectacles on nose and pouch on side, - His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide - For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, - Turning again toward childish treble, pipes - And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, - That ends this strange eventful history, - Is second childishness and mere oblivion, - Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. - - [Re-enter ORLANDO, with ADAM] - -DUKE SENIOR Welcome. Set down your venerable burthen, - And let him feed. - -ORLANDO I thank you most for him. - -ADAM So had you need: - I scarce can speak to thank you for myself. - -DUKE SENIOR Welcome; fall to: I will not trouble you - As yet, to question you about your fortunes. - Give us some music; and, good cousin, sing. - - SONG. -AMIENS Blow, blow, thou winter wind. - Thou art not so unkind - As man's ingratitude; - Thy tooth is not so keen, - Because thou art not seen, - Although thy breath be rude. - Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly: - Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly: - Then, heigh-ho, the holly! - This life is most jolly. - Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky, - That dost not bite so nigh - As benefits forgot: - Though thou the waters warp, - Thy sting is not so sharp - As friend remember'd not. - Heigh-ho! sing, &c. - -DUKE SENIOR If that you were the good Sir Rowland's son, - As you have whisper'd faithfully you were, - And as mine eye doth his effigies witness - Most truly limn'd and living in your face, - Be truly welcome hither: I am the duke - That loved your father: the residue of your fortune, - Go to my cave and tell me. Good old man, - Thou art right welcome as thy master is. - Support him by the arm. Give me your hand, - And let me all your fortunes understand. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT III - - - -SCENE I A room in the palace. - - - [Enter DUKE FREDERICK, Lords, and OLIVER] - -DUKE FREDERICK Not see him since? Sir, sir, that cannot be: - But were I not the better part made mercy, - I should not seek an absent argument - Of my revenge, thou present. But look to it: - Find out thy brother, wheresoe'er he is; - Seek him with candle; bring him dead or living - Within this twelvemonth, or turn thou no more - To seek a living in our territory. - Thy lands and all things that thou dost call thine - Worth seizure do we seize into our hands, - Till thou canst quit thee by thy brothers mouth - Of what we think against thee. - -OLIVER O that your highness knew my heart in this! - I never loved my brother in my life. - -DUKE FREDERICK More villain thou. Well, push him out of doors; - And let my officers of such a nature - Make an extent upon his house and lands: - Do this expediently and turn him going. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT III - - - -SCENE II The forest. - - - [Enter ORLANDO, with a paper] - -ORLANDO Hang there, my verse, in witness of my love: - And thou, thrice-crowned queen of night, survey - With thy chaste eye, from thy pale sphere above, - Thy huntress' name that my full life doth sway. - O Rosalind! these trees shall be my books - And in their barks my thoughts I'll character; - That every eye which in this forest looks - Shall see thy virtue witness'd every where. - Run, run, Orlando; carve on every tree - The fair, the chaste and unexpressive she. - - [Exit] - - [Enter CORIN and TOUCHSTONE] - -CORIN And how like you this shepherd's life, Master Touchstone? - -TOUCHSTONE Truly, shepherd, in respect of itself, it is a good - life, but in respect that it is a shepherd's life, - it is naught. In respect that it is solitary, I - like it very well; but in respect that it is - private, it is a very vile life. Now, in respect it - is in the fields, it pleaseth me well; but in - respect it is not in the court, it is tedious. As - is it a spare life, look you, it fits my humour well; - but as there is no more plenty in it, it goes much - against my stomach. Hast any philosophy in thee, shepherd? - -CORIN No more but that I know the more one sickens the - worse at ease he is; and that he that wants money, - means and content is without three good friends; - that the property of rain is to wet and fire to - burn; that good pasture makes fat sheep, and that a - great cause of the night is lack of the sun; that - he that hath learned no wit by nature nor art may - complain of good breeding or comes of a very dull kindred. - -TOUCHSTONE Such a one is a natural philosopher. Wast ever in - court, shepherd? - -CORIN No, truly. - -TOUCHSTONE Then thou art damned. - -CORIN Nay, I hope. - -TOUCHSTONE Truly, thou art damned like an ill-roasted egg, all - on one side. - -CORIN For not being at court? Your reason. - -TOUCHSTONE Why, if thou never wast at court, thou never sawest - good manners; if thou never sawest good manners, - then thy manners must be wicked; and wickedness is - sin, and sin is damnation. Thou art in a parlous - state, shepherd. - -CORIN Not a whit, Touchstone: those that are good manners - at the court are as ridiculous in the country as the - behavior of the country is most mockable at the - court. You told me you salute not at the court, but - you kiss your hands: that courtesy would be - uncleanly, if courtiers were shepherds. - -TOUCHSTONE Instance, briefly; come, instance. - -CORIN Why, we are still handling our ewes, and their - fells, you know, are greasy. - -TOUCHSTONE Why, do not your courtier's hands sweat? and is not - the grease of a mutton as wholesome as the sweat of - a man? Shallow, shallow. A better instance, I say; come. - -CORIN Besides, our hands are hard. - -TOUCHSTONE Your lips will feel them the sooner. Shallow again. - A more sounder instance, come. - -CORIN And they are often tarred over with the surgery of - our sheep: and would you have us kiss tar? The - courtier's hands are perfumed with civet. - -TOUCHSTONE Most shallow man! thou worms-meat, in respect of a - good piece of flesh indeed! Learn of the wise, and - perpend: civet is of a baser birth than tar, the - very uncleanly flux of a cat. Mend the instance, shepherd. - -CORIN You have too courtly a wit for me: I'll rest. - -TOUCHSTONE Wilt thou rest damned? God help thee, shallow man! - God make incision in thee! thou art raw. - -CORIN Sir, I am a true labourer: I earn that I eat, get - that I wear, owe no man hate, envy no man's - happiness, glad of other men's good, content with my - harm, and the greatest of my pride is to see my ewes - graze and my lambs suck. - -TOUCHSTONE That is another simple sin in you, to bring the ewes - and the rams together and to offer to get your - living by the copulation of cattle; to be bawd to a - bell-wether, and to betray a she-lamb of a - twelvemonth to a crooked-pated, old, cuckoldly ram, - out of all reasonable match. If thou beest not - damned for this, the devil himself will have no - shepherds; I cannot see else how thou shouldst - 'scape. - -CORIN Here comes young Master Ganymede, my new mistress's brother. - - [Enter ROSALIND, with a paper, reading] - -ROSALIND From the east to western Ind, - No jewel is like Rosalind. - Her worth, being mounted on the wind, - Through all the world bears Rosalind. - All the pictures fairest lined - Are but black to Rosalind. - Let no fair be kept in mind - But the fair of Rosalind. - -TOUCHSTONE I'll rhyme you so eight years together, dinners and - suppers and sleeping-hours excepted: it is the - right butter-women's rank to market. - -ROSALIND Out, fool! - -TOUCHSTONE For a taste: - If a hart do lack a hind, - Let him seek out Rosalind. - If the cat will after kind, - So be sure will Rosalind. - Winter garments must be lined, - So must slender Rosalind. - They that reap must sheaf and bind; - Then to cart with Rosalind. - Sweetest nut hath sourest rind, - Such a nut is Rosalind. - He that sweetest rose will find - Must find love's prick and Rosalind. - This is the very false gallop of verses: why do you - infect yourself with them? - -ROSALIND Peace, you dull fool! I found them on a tree. - -TOUCHSTONE Truly, the tree yields bad fruit. - -ROSALIND I'll graff it with you, and then I shall graff it - with a medlar: then it will be the earliest fruit - i' the country; for you'll be rotten ere you be half - ripe, and that's the right virtue of the medlar. - -TOUCHSTONE You have said; but whether wisely or no, let the - forest judge. - - [Enter CELIA, with a writing] - -ROSALIND Peace! Here comes my sister, reading: stand aside. - -CELIA [Reads] - - Why should this a desert be? - For it is unpeopled? No: - Tongues I'll hang on every tree, - That shall civil sayings show: - Some, how brief the life of man - Runs his erring pilgrimage, - That the stretching of a span - Buckles in his sum of age; - Some, of violated vows - 'Twixt the souls of friend and friend: - But upon the fairest boughs, - Or at every sentence end, - Will I Rosalinda write, - Teaching all that read to know - The quintessence of every sprite - Heaven would in little show. - Therefore Heaven Nature charged - That one body should be fill'd - With all graces wide-enlarged: - Nature presently distill'd - Helen's cheek, but not her heart, - Cleopatra's majesty, - Atalanta's better part, - Sad Lucretia's modesty. - Thus Rosalind of many parts - By heavenly synod was devised, - Of many faces, eyes and hearts, - To have the touches dearest prized. - Heaven would that she these gifts should have, - And I to live and die her slave. - -ROSALIND O most gentle pulpiter! what tedious homily of love - have you wearied your parishioners withal, and never - cried 'Have patience, good people!' - -CELIA How now! back, friends! Shepherd, go off a little. - Go with him, sirrah. - -TOUCHSTONE Come, shepherd, let us make an honourable retreat; - though not with bag and baggage, yet with scrip and scrippage. - - [Exeunt CORIN and TOUCHSTONE] - -CELIA Didst thou hear these verses? - -ROSALIND O, yes, I heard them all, and more too; for some of - them had in them more feet than the verses would bear. - -CELIA That's no matter: the feet might bear the verses. - -ROSALIND Ay, but the feet were lame and could not bear - themselves without the verse and therefore stood - lamely in the verse. - -CELIA But didst thou hear without wondering how thy name - should be hanged and carved upon these trees? - -ROSALIND I was seven of the nine days out of the wonder - before you came; for look here what I found on a - palm-tree. I was never so be-rhymed since - Pythagoras' time, that I was an Irish rat, which I - can hardly remember. - -CELIA Trow you who hath done this? - -ROSALIND Is it a man? - -CELIA And a chain, that you once wore, about his neck. - Change you colour? - -ROSALIND I prithee, who? - -CELIA O Lord, Lord! it is a hard matter for friends to - meet; but mountains may be removed with earthquakes - and so encounter. - -ROSALIND Nay, but who is it? - -CELIA Is it possible? - -ROSALIND Nay, I prithee now with most petitionary vehemence, - tell me who it is. - -CELIA O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful - wonderful! and yet again wonderful, and after that, - out of all hooping! - -ROSALIND Good my complexion! dost thou think, though I am - caparisoned like a man, I have a doublet and hose in - my disposition? One inch of delay more is a - South-sea of discovery; I prithee, tell me who is it - quickly, and speak apace. I would thou couldst - stammer, that thou mightst pour this concealed man - out of thy mouth, as wine comes out of a narrow- - mouthed bottle, either too much at once, or none at - all. I prithee, take the cork out of thy mouth that - may drink thy tidings. - -CELIA So you may put a man in your belly. - -ROSALIND Is he of God's making? What manner of man? Is his - head worth a hat, or his chin worth a beard? - -CELIA Nay, he hath but a little beard. - -ROSALIND Why, God will send more, if the man will be - thankful: let me stay the growth of his beard, if - thou delay me not the knowledge of his chin. - -CELIA It is young Orlando, that tripped up the wrestler's - heels and your heart both in an instant. - -ROSALIND Nay, but the devil take mocking: speak, sad brow and - true maid. - -CELIA I' faith, coz, 'tis he. - -ROSALIND Orlando? - -CELIA Orlando. - -ROSALIND Alas the day! what shall I do with my doublet and - hose? What did he when thou sawest him? What said - he? How looked he? Wherein went he? What makes - him here? Did he ask for me? Where remains he? - How parted he with thee? and when shalt thou see - him again? Answer me in one word. - -CELIA You must borrow me Gargantua's mouth first: 'tis a - word too great for any mouth of this age's size. To - say ay and no to these particulars is more than to - answer in a catechism. - -ROSALIND But doth he know that I am in this forest and in - man's apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the - day he wrestled? - -CELIA It is as easy to count atomies as to resolve the - propositions of a lover; but take a taste of my - finding him, and relish it with good observance. - I found him under a tree, like a dropped acorn. - -ROSALIND It may well be called Jove's tree, when it drops - forth such fruit. - -CELIA Give me audience, good madam. - -ROSALIND Proceed. - -CELIA There lay he, stretched along, like a wounded knight. - -ROSALIND Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well - becomes the ground. - -CELIA Cry 'holla' to thy tongue, I prithee; it curvets - unseasonably. He was furnished like a hunter. - -ROSALIND O, ominous! he comes to kill my heart. - -CELIA I would sing my song without a burden: thou bringest - me out of tune. - -ROSALIND Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must - speak. Sweet, say on. - -CELIA You bring me out. Soft! comes he not here? - - [Enter ORLANDO and JAQUES] - -ROSALIND 'Tis he: slink by, and note him. - -JAQUES I thank you for your company; but, good faith, I had - as lief have been myself alone. - -ORLANDO And so had I; but yet, for fashion sake, I thank you - too for your society. - -JAQUES God be wi' you: let's meet as little as we can. - -ORLANDO I do desire we may be better strangers. - -JAQUES I pray you, mar no more trees with writing - love-songs in their barks. - -ORLANDO I pray you, mar no more of my verses with reading - them ill-favouredly. - -JAQUES Rosalind is your love's name? - -ORLANDO Yes, just. - -JAQUES I do not like her name. - -ORLANDO There was no thought of pleasing you when she was - christened. - -JAQUES What stature is she of? - -ORLANDO Just as high as my heart. - -JAQUES You are full of pretty answers. Have you not been - acquainted with goldsmiths' wives, and conned them - out of rings? - -ORLANDO Not so; but I answer you right painted cloth, from - whence you have studied your questions. - -JAQUES You have a nimble wit: I think 'twas made of - Atalanta's heels. Will you sit down with me? and - we two will rail against our mistress the world and - all our misery. - -ORLANDO I will chide no breather in the world but myself, - against whom I know most faults. - -JAQUES The worst fault you have is to be in love. - -ORLANDO 'Tis a fault I will not change for your best virtue. - I am weary of you. - -JAQUES By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I found - you. - -ORLANDO He is drowned in the brook: look but in, and you - shall see him. - -JAQUES There I shall see mine own figure. - -ORLANDO Which I take to be either a fool or a cipher. - -JAQUES I'll tarry no longer with you: farewell, good - Signior Love. - -ORLANDO I am glad of your departure: adieu, good Monsieur - Melancholy. - - [Exit JAQUES] - -ROSALIND [Aside to CELIA] I will speak to him, like a saucy - lackey and under that habit play the knave with him. - Do you hear, forester? - -ORLANDO Very well: what would you? - -ROSALIND I pray you, what is't o'clock? - -ORLANDO You should ask me what time o' day: there's no clock - in the forest. - -ROSALIND Then there is no true lover in the forest; else - sighing every minute and groaning every hour would - detect the lazy foot of Time as well as a clock. - -ORLANDO And why not the swift foot of Time? had not that - been as proper? - -ROSALIND By no means, sir: Time travels in divers paces with - divers persons. I'll tell you who Time ambles - withal, who Time trots withal, who Time gallops - withal and who he stands still withal. - -ORLANDO I prithee, who doth he trot withal? - -ROSALIND Marry, he trots hard with a young maid between the - contract of her marriage and the day it is - solemnized: if the interim be but a se'nnight, - Time's pace is so hard that it seems the length of - seven year. - -ORLANDO Who ambles Time withal? - -ROSALIND With a priest that lacks Latin and a rich man that - hath not the gout, for the one sleeps easily because - he cannot study, and the other lives merrily because - he feels no pain, the one lacking the burden of lean - and wasteful learning, the other knowing no burden - of heavy tedious penury; these Time ambles withal. - -ORLANDO Who doth he gallop withal? - -ROSALIND With a thief to the gallows, for though he go as - softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon there. - -ORLANDO Who stays it still withal? - -ROSALIND With lawyers in the vacation, for they sleep between - term and term and then they perceive not how Time moves. - -ORLANDO Where dwell you, pretty youth? - -ROSALIND With this shepherdess, my sister; here in the - skirts of the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat. - -ORLANDO Are you native of this place? - -ROSALIND As the cony that you see dwell where she is kindled. - -ORLANDO Your accent is something finer than you could - purchase in so removed a dwelling. - -ROSALIND I have been told so of many: but indeed an old - religious uncle of mine taught me to speak, who was - in his youth an inland man; one that knew courtship - too well, for there he fell in love. I have heard - him read many lectures against it, and I thank God - I am not a woman, to be touched with so many - giddy offences as he hath generally taxed their - whole sex withal. - -ORLANDO Can you remember any of the principal evils that he - laid to the charge of women? - -ROSALIND There were none principal; they were all like one - another as half-pence are, every one fault seeming - monstrous till his fellow fault came to match it. - -ORLANDO I prithee, recount some of them. - -ROSALIND No, I will not cast away my physic but on those that - are sick. There is a man haunts the forest, that - abuses our young plants with carving 'Rosalind' on - their barks; hangs odes upon hawthorns and elegies - on brambles, all, forsooth, deifying the name of - Rosalind: if I could meet that fancy-monger I would - give him some good counsel, for he seems to have the - quotidian of love upon him. - -ORLANDO I am he that is so love-shaked: I pray you tell me - your remedy. - -ROSALIND There is none of my uncle's marks upon you: he - taught me how to know a man in love; in which cage - of rushes I am sure you are not prisoner. - -ORLANDO What were his marks? - -ROSALIND A lean cheek, which you have not, a blue eye and - sunken, which you have not, an unquestionable - spirit, which you have not, a beard neglected, - which you have not; but I pardon you for that, for - simply your having in beard is a younger brother's - revenue: then your hose should be ungartered, your - bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbuttoned, your shoe - untied and every thing about you demonstrating a - careless desolation; but you are no such man; you - are rather point-device in your accoutrements as - loving yourself than seeming the lover of any other. - -ORLANDO Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love. - -ROSALIND Me believe it! you may as soon make her that you - love believe it; which, I warrant, she is apter to - do than to confess she does: that is one of the - points in the which women still give the lie to - their consciences. But, in good sooth, are you he - that hangs the verses on the trees, wherein Rosalind - is so admired? - -ORLANDO I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of - Rosalind, I am that he, that unfortunate he. - -ROSALIND But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak? - -ORLANDO Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much. - -ROSALIND Love is merely a madness, and, I tell you, deserves - as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do: and - the reason why they are not so punished and cured - is, that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers - are in love too. Yet I profess curing it by counsel. - -ORLANDO Did you ever cure any so? - -ROSALIND Yes, one, and in this manner. He was to imagine me - his love, his mistress; and I set him every day to - woo me: at which time would I, being but a moonish - youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing - and liking, proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, - inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles, for every - passion something and for no passion truly any - thing, as boys and women are for the most part - cattle of this colour; would now like him, now loathe - him; then entertain him, then forswear him; now weep - for him, then spit at him; that I drave my suitor - from his mad humour of love to a living humour of - madness; which was, to forswear the full stream of - the world, and to live in a nook merely monastic. - And thus I cured him; and this way will I take upon - me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's - heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in't. - -ORLANDO I would not be cured, youth. - -ROSALIND I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind - and come every day to my cote and woo me. - -ORLANDO Now, by the faith of my love, I will: tell me - where it is. - -ROSALIND Go with me to it and I'll show it you and by the way - you shall tell me where in the forest you live. - Will you go? - -ORLANDO With all my heart, good youth. - -ROSALIND Nay you must call me Rosalind. Come, sister, will you go? - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT III - - - -SCENE III The forest. - - - [Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY; JAQUES behind] - -TOUCHSTONE Come apace, good Audrey: I will fetch up your - goats, Audrey. And how, Audrey? am I the man yet? - doth my simple feature content you? - -AUDREY Your features! Lord warrant us! what features! - -TOUCHSTONE I am here with thee and thy goats, as the most - capricious poet, honest Ovid, was among the Goths. - -JAQUES [Aside] O knowledge ill-inhabited, worse than Jove - in a thatched house! - -TOUCHSTONE When a man's verses cannot be understood, nor a - man's good wit seconded with the forward child - Understanding, it strikes a man more dead than a - great reckoning in a little room. Truly, I would - the gods had made thee poetical. - -AUDREY I do not know what 'poetical' is: is it honest in - deed and word? is it a true thing? - -TOUCHSTONE No, truly; for the truest poetry is the most - feigning; and lovers are given to poetry, and what - they swear in poetry may be said as lovers they do feign. - -AUDREY Do you wish then that the gods had made me poetical? - -TOUCHSTONE I do, truly; for thou swearest to me thou art - honest: now, if thou wert a poet, I might have some - hope thou didst feign. - -AUDREY Would you not have me honest? - -TOUCHSTONE No, truly, unless thou wert hard-favoured; for - honesty coupled to beauty is to have honey a sauce to sugar. - -JAQUES [Aside] A material fool! - -AUDREY Well, I am not fair; and therefore I pray the gods - make me honest. - -TOUCHSTONE Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a foul slut - were to put good meat into an unclean dish. - -AUDREY I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul. - -TOUCHSTONE Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness! - sluttishness may come hereafter. But be it as it may - be, I will marry thee, and to that end I have been - with Sir Oliver Martext, the vicar of the next - village, who hath promised to meet me in this place - of the forest and to couple us. - -JAQUES [Aside] I would fain see this meeting. - -AUDREY Well, the gods give us joy! - -TOUCHSTONE Amen. A man may, if he were of a fearful heart, - stagger in this attempt; for here we have no temple - but the wood, no assembly but horn-beasts. But what - though? Courage! As horns are odious, they are - necessary. It is said, 'many a man knows no end of - his goods:' right; many a man has good horns, and - knows no end of them. Well, that is the dowry of - his wife; 'tis none of his own getting. Horns? - Even so. Poor men alone? No, no; the noblest deer - hath them as huge as the rascal. Is the single man - therefore blessed? No: as a walled town is more - worthier than a village, so is the forehead of a - married man more honourable than the bare brow of a - bachelor; and by how much defence is better than no - skill, by so much is a horn more precious than to - want. Here comes Sir Oliver. - - [Enter SIR OLIVER MARTEXT] - - Sir Oliver Martext, you are well met: will you - dispatch us here under this tree, or shall we go - with you to your chapel? - -SIR OLIVER MARTEXT Is there none here to give the woman? - -TOUCHSTONE I will not take her on gift of any man. - -SIR OLIVER MARTEXT Truly, she must be given, or the marriage is not lawful. - -JAQUES [Advancing] - - Proceed, proceed I'll give her. - -TOUCHSTONE Good even, good Master What-ye-call't: how do you, - sir? You are very well met: God 'ild you for your - last company: I am very glad to see you: even a - toy in hand here, sir: nay, pray be covered. - -JAQUES Will you be married, motley? - -TOUCHSTONE As the ox hath his bow, sir, the horse his curb and - the falcon her bells, so man hath his desires; and - as pigeons bill, so wedlock would be nibbling. - -JAQUES And will you, being a man of your breeding, be - married under a bush like a beggar? Get you to - church, and have a good priest that can tell you - what marriage is: this fellow will but join you - together as they join wainscot; then one of you will - prove a shrunk panel and, like green timber, warp, warp. - -TOUCHSTONE [Aside] I am not in the mind but I were better to be - married of him than of another: for he is not like - to marry me well; and not being well married, it - will be a good excuse for me hereafter to leave my wife. - -JAQUES Go thou with me, and let me counsel thee. - -TOUCHSTONE 'Come, sweet Audrey: - We must be married, or we must live in bawdry. - Farewell, good Master Oliver: not,-- - O sweet Oliver, - O brave Oliver, - Leave me not behind thee: but,-- - Wind away, - Begone, I say, - I will not to wedding with thee. - - [Exeunt JAQUES, TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY] - -SIR OLIVER MARTEXT 'Tis no matter: ne'er a fantastical knave of them - all shall flout me out of my calling. - - [Exit] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT III - - - -SCENE IV The forest. - - - [Enter ROSALIND and CELIA] - -ROSALIND Never talk to me; I will weep. - -CELIA Do, I prithee; but yet have the grace to consider - that tears do not become a man. - -ROSALIND But have I not cause to weep? - -CELIA As good cause as one would desire; therefore weep. - -ROSALIND His very hair is of the dissembling colour. - -CELIA Something browner than Judas's marry, his kisses are - Judas's own children. - -ROSALIND I' faith, his hair is of a good colour. - -CELIA An excellent colour: your chestnut was ever the only colour. - -ROSALIND And his kissing is as full of sanctity as the touch - of holy bread. - -CELIA He hath bought a pair of cast lips of Diana: a nun - of winter's sisterhood kisses not more religiously; - the very ice of chastity is in them. - -ROSALIND But why did he swear he would come this morning, and - comes not? - -CELIA Nay, certainly, there is no truth in him. - -ROSALIND Do you think so? - -CELIA Yes; I think he is not a pick-purse nor a - horse-stealer, but for his verity in love, I do - think him as concave as a covered goblet or a - worm-eaten nut. - -ROSALIND Not true in love? - -CELIA Yes, when he is in; but I think he is not in. - -ROSALIND You have heard him swear downright he was. - -CELIA 'Was' is not 'is:' besides, the oath of a lover is - no stronger than the word of a tapster; they are - both the confirmer of false reckonings. He attends - here in the forest on the duke your father. - -ROSALIND I met the duke yesterday and had much question with - him: he asked me of what parentage I was; I told - him, of as good as he; so he laughed and let me go. - But what talk we of fathers, when there is such a - man as Orlando? - -CELIA O, that's a brave man! he writes brave verses, - speaks brave words, swears brave oaths and breaks - them bravely, quite traverse, athwart the heart of - his lover; as a puisny tilter, that spurs his horse - but on one side, breaks his staff like a noble - goose: but all's brave that youth mounts and folly - guides. Who comes here? - - [Enter CORIN] - -CORIN Mistress and master, you have oft inquired - After the shepherd that complain'd of love, - Who you saw sitting by me on the turf, - Praising the proud disdainful shepherdess - That was his mistress. - -CELIA Well, and what of him? - -CORIN If you will see a pageant truly play'd, - Between the pale complexion of true love - And the red glow of scorn and proud disdain, - Go hence a little and I shall conduct you, - If you will mark it. - -ROSALIND O, come, let us remove: - The sight of lovers feedeth those in love. - Bring us to this sight, and you shall say - I'll prove a busy actor in their play. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT III - - - -SCENE V Another part of the forest. - - - [Enter SILVIUS and PHEBE] - -SILVIUS Sweet Phebe, do not scorn me; do not, Phebe; - Say that you love me not, but say not so - In bitterness. The common executioner, - Whose heart the accustom'd sight of death makes hard, - Falls not the axe upon the humbled neck - But first begs pardon: will you sterner be - Than he that dies and lives by bloody drops? - - [Enter ROSALIND, CELIA, and CORIN, behind] - -PHEBE I would not be thy executioner: - I fly thee, for I would not injure thee. - Thou tell'st me there is murder in mine eye: - 'Tis pretty, sure, and very probable, - That eyes, that are the frail'st and softest things, - Who shut their coward gates on atomies, - Should be call'd tyrants, butchers, murderers! - Now I do frown on thee with all my heart; - And if mine eyes can wound, now let them kill thee: - Now counterfeit to swoon; why now fall down; - Or if thou canst not, O, for shame, for shame, - Lie not, to say mine eyes are murderers! - Now show the wound mine eye hath made in thee: - Scratch thee but with a pin, and there remains - Some scar of it; lean but upon a rush, - The cicatrice and capable impressure - Thy palm some moment keeps; but now mine eyes, - Which I have darted at thee, hurt thee not, - Nor, I am sure, there is no force in eyes - That can do hurt. - -SILVIUS O dear Phebe, - If ever,--as that ever may be near,-- - You meet in some fresh cheek the power of fancy, - Then shall you know the wounds invisible - That love's keen arrows make. - -PHEBE But till that time - Come not thou near me: and when that time comes, - Afflict me with thy mocks, pity me not; - As till that time I shall not pity thee. - -ROSALIND And why, I pray you? Who might be your mother, - That you insult, exult, and all at once, - Over the wretched? What though you have no beauty,-- - As, by my faith, I see no more in you - Than without candle may go dark to bed-- - Must you be therefore proud and pitiless? - Why, what means this? Why do you look on me? - I see no more in you than in the ordinary - Of nature's sale-work. 'Od's my little life, - I think she means to tangle my eyes too! - No, faith, proud mistress, hope not after it: - 'Tis not your inky brows, your black silk hair, - Your bugle eyeballs, nor your cheek of cream, - That can entame my spirits to your worship. - You foolish shepherd, wherefore do you follow her, - Like foggy south puffing with wind and rain? - You are a thousand times a properer man - Than she a woman: 'tis such fools as you - That makes the world full of ill-favour'd children: - 'Tis not her glass, but you, that flatters her; - And out of you she sees herself more proper - Than any of her lineaments can show her. - But, mistress, know yourself: down on your knees, - And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love: - For I must tell you friendly in your ear, - Sell when you can: you are not for all markets: - Cry the man mercy; love him; take his offer: - Foul is most foul, being foul to be a scoffer. - So take her to thee, shepherd: fare you well. - -PHEBE Sweet youth, I pray you, chide a year together: - I had rather hear you chide than this man woo. - -ROSALIND He's fallen in love with your foulness and she'll - fall in love with my anger. If it be so, as fast as - she answers thee with frowning looks, I'll sauce her - with bitter words. Why look you so upon me? - -PHEBE For no ill will I bear you. - -ROSALIND I pray you, do not fall in love with me, - For I am falser than vows made in wine: - Besides, I like you not. If you will know my house, - 'Tis at the tuft of olives here hard by. - Will you go, sister? Shepherd, ply her hard. - Come, sister. Shepherdess, look on him better, - And be not proud: though all the world could see, - None could be so abused in sight as he. - Come, to our flock. - - [Exeunt ROSALIND, CELIA and CORIN] - -PHEBE Dead Shepherd, now I find thy saw of might, - 'Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?' - -SILVIUS Sweet Phebe,-- - -PHEBE Ha, what say'st thou, Silvius? - -SILVIUS Sweet Phebe, pity me. - -PHEBE Why, I am sorry for thee, gentle Silvius. - -SILVIUS Wherever sorrow is, relief would be: - If you do sorrow at my grief in love, - By giving love your sorrow and my grief - Were both extermined. - -PHEBE Thou hast my love: is not that neighbourly? - -SILVIUS I would have you. - -PHEBE Why, that were covetousness. - Silvius, the time was that I hated thee, - And yet it is not that I bear thee love; - But since that thou canst talk of love so well, - Thy company, which erst was irksome to me, - I will endure, and I'll employ thee too: - But do not look for further recompense - Than thine own gladness that thou art employ'd. - -SILVIUS So holy and so perfect is my love, - And I in such a poverty of grace, - That I shall think it a most plenteous crop - To glean the broken ears after the man - That the main harvest reaps: loose now and then - A scatter'd smile, and that I'll live upon. - -PHEBE Know'st now the youth that spoke to me erewhile? - -SILVIUS Not very well, but I have met him oft; - And he hath bought the cottage and the bounds - That the old carlot once was master of. - -PHEBE Think not I love him, though I ask for him: - 'Tis but a peevish boy; yet he talks well; - But what care I for words? yet words do well - When he that speaks them pleases those that hear. - It is a pretty youth: not very pretty: - But, sure, he's proud, and yet his pride becomes him: - He'll make a proper man: the best thing in him - Is his complexion; and faster than his tongue - Did make offence his eye did heal it up. - He is not very tall; yet for his years he's tall: - His leg is but so so; and yet 'tis well: - There was a pretty redness in his lip, - A little riper and more lusty red - Than that mix'd in his cheek; 'twas just the difference - Between the constant red and mingled damask. - There be some women, Silvius, had they mark'd him - In parcels as I did, would have gone near - To fall in love with him; but, for my part, - I love him not nor hate him not; and yet - I have more cause to hate him than to love him: - For what had he to do to chide at me? - He said mine eyes were black and my hair black: - And, now I am remember'd, scorn'd at me: - I marvel why I answer'd not again: - But that's all one; omittance is no quittance. - I'll write to him a very taunting letter, - And thou shalt bear it: wilt thou, Silvius? - -SILVIUS Phebe, with all my heart. - -PHEBE I'll write it straight; - The matter's in my head and in my heart: - I will be bitter with him and passing short. - Go with me, Silvius. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT IV - - - -SCENE I The forest. - - - [Enter ROSALIND, CELIA, and JAQUES] - -JAQUES I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted - with thee. - -ROSALIND They say you are a melancholy fellow. - -JAQUES I am so; I do love it better than laughing. - -ROSALIND Those that are in extremity of either are abominable - fellows and betray themselves to every modern - censure worse than drunkards. - -JAQUES Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nothing. - -ROSALIND Why then, 'tis good to be a post. - -JAQUES I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is - emulation, nor the musician's, which is fantastical, - nor the courtier's, which is proud, nor the - soldier's, which is ambitious, nor the lawyer's, - which is politic, nor the lady's, which is nice, nor - the lover's, which is all these: but it is a - melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, - extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry's - contemplation of my travels, in which my often - rumination wraps me m a most humorous sadness. - -ROSALIND A traveller! By my faith, you have great reason to - be sad: I fear you have sold your own lands to see - other men's; then, to have seen much and to have - nothing, is to have rich eyes and poor hands. - -JAQUES Yes, I have gained my experience. - -ROSALIND And your experience makes you sad: I had rather have - a fool to make me merry than experience to make me - sad; and to travel for it too! - - [Enter ORLANDO] - -ORLANDO Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind! - -JAQUES Nay, then, God be wi' you, an you talk in blank verse. - - [Exit] - -ROSALIND Farewell, Monsieur Traveller: look you lisp and - wear strange suits, disable all the benefits of your - own country, be out of love with your nativity and - almost chide God for making you that countenance you - are, or I will scarce think you have swam in a - gondola. Why, how now, Orlando! where have you been - all this while? You a lover! An you serve me such - another trick, never come in my sight more. - -ORLANDO My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise. - -ROSALIND Break an hour's promise in love! He that will - divide a minute into a thousand parts and break but - a part of the thousandth part of a minute in the - affairs of love, it may be said of him that Cupid - hath clapped him o' the shoulder, but I'll warrant - him heart-whole. - -ORLANDO Pardon me, dear Rosalind. - -ROSALIND Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my sight: I - had as lief be wooed of a snail. - -ORLANDO Of a snail? - -ROSALIND Ay, of a snail; for though he comes slowly, he - carries his house on his head; a better jointure, - I think, than you make a woman: besides he brings - his destiny with him. - -ORLANDO What's that? - -ROSALIND Why, horns, which such as you are fain to be - beholding to your wives for: but he comes armed in - his fortune and prevents the slander of his wife. - -ORLANDO Virtue is no horn-maker; and my Rosalind is virtuous. - -ROSALIND And I am your Rosalind. - -CELIA It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a - Rosalind of a better leer than you. - -ROSALIND Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a holiday - humour and like enough to consent. What would you - say to me now, an I were your very very Rosalind? - -ORLANDO I would kiss before I spoke. - -ROSALIND Nay, you were better speak first, and when you were - gravelled for lack of matter, you might take - occasion to kiss. Very good orators, when they are - out, they will spit; and for lovers lacking--God - warn us!--matter, the cleanliest shift is to kiss. - -ORLANDO How if the kiss be denied? - -ROSALIND Then she puts you to entreaty, and there begins new matter. - -ORLANDO Who could be out, being before his beloved mistress? - -ROSALIND Marry, that should you, if I were your mistress, or - I should think my honesty ranker than my wit. - -ORLANDO What, of my suit? - -ROSALIND Not out of your apparel, and yet out of your suit. - Am not I your Rosalind? - -ORLANDO I take some joy to say you are, because I would be - talking of her. - -ROSALIND Well in her person I say I will not have you. - -ORLANDO Then in mine own person I die. - -ROSALIND No, faith, die by attorney. The poor world is - almost six thousand years old, and in all this time - there was not any man died in his own person, - videlicit, in a love-cause. Troilus had his brains - dashed out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he - could to die before, and he is one of the patterns - of love. Leander, he would have lived many a fair - year, though Hero had turned nun, if it had not been - for a hot midsummer night; for, good youth, he went - but forth to wash him in the Hellespont and being - taken with the cramp was drowned and the foolish - coroners of that age found it was 'Hero of Sestos.' - But these are all lies: men have died from time to - time and worms have eaten them, but not for love. - -ORLANDO I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind, - for, I protest, her frown might kill me. - -ROSALIND By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come, now - I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on - disposition, and ask me what you will. I will grant - it. - -ORLANDO Then love me, Rosalind. - -ROSALIND Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays and all. - -ORLANDO And wilt thou have me? - -ROSALIND Ay, and twenty such. - -ORLANDO What sayest thou? - -ROSALIND Are you not good? - -ORLANDO I hope so. - -ROSALIND Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing? - Come, sister, you shall be the priest and marry us. - Give me your hand, Orlando. What do you say, sister? - -ORLANDO Pray thee, marry us. - -CELIA I cannot say the words. - -ROSALIND You must begin, 'Will you, Orlando--' - -CELIA Go to. Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind? - -ORLANDO I will. - -ROSALIND Ay, but when? - -ORLANDO Why now; as fast as she can marry us. - -ROSALIND Then you must say 'I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.' - -ORLANDO I take thee, Rosalind, for wife. - -ROSALIND I might ask you for your commission; but I do take - thee, Orlando, for my husband: there's a girl goes - before the priest; and certainly a woman's thought - runs before her actions. - -ORLANDO So do all thoughts; they are winged. - -ROSALIND Now tell me how long you would have her after you - have possessed her. - -ORLANDO For ever and a day. - -ROSALIND Say 'a day,' without the 'ever.' No, no, Orlando; - men are April when they woo, December when they wed: - maids are May when they are maids, but the sky - changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous - of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen, - more clamorous than a parrot against rain, more - new-fangled than an ape, more giddy in my desires - than a monkey: I will weep for nothing, like Diana - in the fountain, and I will do that when you are - disposed to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and - that when thou art inclined to sleep. - -ORLANDO But will my Rosalind do so? - -ROSALIND By my life, she will do as I do. - -ORLANDO O, but she is wise. - -ROSALIND Or else she could not have the wit to do this: the - wiser, the waywarder: make the doors upon a woman's - wit and it will out at the casement; shut that and - 'twill out at the key-hole; stop that, 'twill fly - with the smoke out at the chimney. - -ORLANDO A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might say - 'Wit, whither wilt?' - -ROSALIND Nay, you might keep that cheque for it till you met - your wife's wit going to your neighbour's bed. - -ORLANDO And what wit could wit have to excuse that? - -ROSALIND Marry, to say she came to seek you there. You shall - never take her without her answer, unless you take - her without her tongue. O, that woman that cannot - make her fault her husband's occasion, let her - never nurse her child herself, for she will breed - it like a fool! - -ORLANDO For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee. - -ROSALIND Alas! dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours. - -ORLANDO I must attend the duke at dinner: by two o'clock I - will be with thee again. - -ROSALIND Ay, go your ways, go your ways; I knew what you - would prove: my friends told me as much, and I - thought no less: that flattering tongue of yours - won me: 'tis but one cast away, and so, come, - death! Two o'clock is your hour? - -ORLANDO Ay, sweet Rosalind. - -ROSALIND By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend - me, and by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous, - if you break one jot of your promise or come one - minute behind your hour, I will think you the most - pathetical break-promise and the most hollow lover - and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind that - may be chosen out of the gross band of the - unfaithful: therefore beware my censure and keep - your promise. - -ORLANDO With no less religion than if thou wert indeed my - Rosalind: so adieu. - -ROSALIND Well, Time is the old justice that examines all such - offenders, and let Time try: adieu. - - [Exit ORLANDO] - -CELIA You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate: - we must have your doublet and hose plucked over your - head, and show the world what the bird hath done to - her own nest. - -ROSALIND O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou - didst know how many fathom deep I am in love! But - it cannot be sounded: my affection hath an unknown - bottom, like the bay of Portugal. - -CELIA Or rather, bottomless, that as fast as you pour - affection in, it runs out. - -ROSALIND No, that same wicked bastard of Venus that was begot - of thought, conceived of spleen and born of madness, - that blind rascally boy that abuses every one's eyes - because his own are out, let him be judge how deep I - am in love. I'll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out - of the sight of Orlando: I'll go find a shadow and - sigh till he come. - -CELIA And I'll sleep. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT IV - - - -SCENE II The forest. - - - [Enter JAQUES, Lords, and Foresters] - -JAQUES Which is he that killed the deer? - -A Lord Sir, it was I. - -JAQUES Let's present him to the duke, like a Roman - conqueror; and it would do well to set the deer's - horns upon his head, for a branch of victory. Have - you no song, forester, for this purpose? - -Forester Yes, sir. - -JAQUES Sing it: 'tis no matter how it be in tune, so it - make noise enough. - - SONG. -Forester What shall he have that kill'd the deer? - His leather skin and horns to wear. - Then sing him home; - - [The rest shall bear this burden] - - Take thou no scorn to wear the horn; - It was a crest ere thou wast born: - Thy father's father wore it, - And thy father bore it: - The horn, the horn, the lusty horn - Is not a thing to laugh to scorn. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT IV - - - -SCENE III The forest. - - - [Enter ROSALIND and CELIA] - -ROSALIND How say you now? Is it not past two o'clock? and - here much Orlando! - -CELIA I warrant you, with pure love and troubled brain, he - hath ta'en his bow and arrows and is gone forth to - sleep. Look, who comes here. - - [Enter SILVIUS] - -SILVIUS My errand is to you, fair youth; - My gentle Phebe bid me give you this: - I know not the contents; but, as I guess - By the stern brow and waspish action - Which she did use as she was writing of it, - It bears an angry tenor: pardon me: - I am but as a guiltless messenger. - -ROSALIND Patience herself would startle at this letter - And play the swaggerer; bear this, bear all: - She says I am not fair, that I lack manners; - She calls me proud, and that she could not love me, - Were man as rare as phoenix. 'Od's my will! - Her love is not the hare that I do hunt: - Why writes she so to me? Well, shepherd, well, - This is a letter of your own device. - -SILVIUS No, I protest, I know not the contents: - Phebe did write it. - -ROSALIND Come, come, you are a fool - And turn'd into the extremity of love. - I saw her hand: she has a leathern hand. - A freestone-colour'd hand; I verily did think - That her old gloves were on, but 'twas her hands: - She has a huswife's hand; but that's no matter: - I say she never did invent this letter; - This is a man's invention and his hand. - -SILVIUS Sure, it is hers. - -ROSALIND Why, 'tis a boisterous and a cruel style. - A style for-challengers; why, she defies me, - Like Turk to Christian: women's gentle brain - Could not drop forth such giant-rude invention - Such Ethiope words, blacker in their effect - Than in their countenance. Will you hear the letter? - -SILVIUS So please you, for I never heard it yet; - Yet heard too much of Phebe's cruelty. - -ROSALIND She Phebes me: mark how the tyrant writes. - - [Reads] - - Art thou god to shepherd turn'd, - That a maiden's heart hath burn'd? - Can a woman rail thus? - -SILVIUS Call you this railing? - -ROSALIND [Reads] - - Why, thy godhead laid apart, - Warr'st thou with a woman's heart? - Did you ever hear such railing? - Whiles the eye of man did woo me, - That could do no vengeance to me. - Meaning me a beast. - If the scorn of your bright eyne - Have power to raise such love in mine, - Alack, in me what strange effect - Would they work in mild aspect! - Whiles you chid me, I did love; - How then might your prayers move! - He that brings this love to thee - Little knows this love in me: - And by him seal up thy mind; - Whether that thy youth and kind - Will the faithful offer take - Of me and all that I can make; - Or else by him my love deny, - And then I'll study how to die. - -SILVIUS Call you this chiding? - -CELIA Alas, poor shepherd! - -ROSALIND Do you pity him? no, he deserves no pity. Wilt - thou love such a woman? What, to make thee an - instrument and play false strains upon thee! not to - be endured! Well, go your way to her, for I see - love hath made thee a tame snake, and say this to - her: that if she love me, I charge her to love - thee; if she will not, I will never have her unless - thou entreat for her. If you be a true lover, - hence, and not a word; for here comes more company. - - [Exit SILVIUS] - - [Enter OLIVER] - -OLIVER Good morrow, fair ones: pray you, if you know, - Where in the purlieus of this forest stands - A sheep-cote fenced about with olive trees? - -CELIA West of this place, down in the neighbour bottom: - The rank of osiers by the murmuring stream - Left on your right hand brings you to the place. - But at this hour the house doth keep itself; - There's none within. - -OLIVER If that an eye may profit by a tongue, - Then should I know you by description; - Such garments and such years: 'The boy is fair, - Of female favour, and bestows himself - Like a ripe sister: the woman low - And browner than her brother.' Are not you - The owner of the house I did inquire for? - -CELIA It is no boast, being ask'd, to say we are. - -OLIVER Orlando doth commend him to you both, - And to that youth he calls his Rosalind - He sends this bloody napkin. Are you he? - -ROSALIND I am: what must we understand by this? - -OLIVER Some of my shame; if you will know of me - What man I am, and how, and why, and where - This handkercher was stain'd. - -CELIA I pray you, tell it. - -OLIVER When last the young Orlando parted from you - He left a promise to return again - Within an hour, and pacing through the forest, - Chewing the food of sweet and bitter fancy, - Lo, what befell! he threw his eye aside, - And mark what object did present itself: - Under an oak, whose boughs were moss'd with age - And high top bald with dry antiquity, - A wretched ragged man, o'ergrown with hair, - Lay sleeping on his back: about his neck - A green and gilded snake had wreathed itself, - Who with her head nimble in threats approach'd - The opening of his mouth; but suddenly, - Seeing Orlando, it unlink'd itself, - And with indented glides did slip away - Into a bush: under which bush's shade - A lioness, with udders all drawn dry, - Lay couching, head on ground, with catlike watch, - When that the sleeping man should stir; for 'tis - The royal disposition of that beast - To prey on nothing that doth seem as dead: - This seen, Orlando did approach the man - And found it was his brother, his elder brother. - -CELIA O, I have heard him speak of that same brother; - And he did render him the most unnatural - That lived amongst men. - -OLIVER And well he might so do, - For well I know he was unnatural. - -ROSALIND But, to Orlando: did he leave him there, - Food to the suck'd and hungry lioness? - -OLIVER Twice did he turn his back and purposed so; - But kindness, nobler ever than revenge, - And nature, stronger than his just occasion, - Made him give battle to the lioness, - Who quickly fell before him: in which hurtling - From miserable slumber I awaked. - -CELIA Are you his brother? - -ROSALIND Wast you he rescued? - -CELIA Was't you that did so oft contrive to kill him? - -OLIVER 'Twas I; but 'tis not I I do not shame - To tell you what I was, since my conversion - So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am. - -ROSALIND But, for the bloody napkin? - -OLIVER By and by. - When from the first to last betwixt us two - Tears our recountments had most kindly bathed, - As how I came into that desert place:-- - In brief, he led me to the gentle duke, - Who gave me fresh array and entertainment, - Committing me unto my brother's love; - Who led me instantly unto his cave, - There stripp'd himself, and here upon his arm - The lioness had torn some flesh away, - Which all this while had bled; and now he fainted - And cried, in fainting, upon Rosalind. - Brief, I recover'd him, bound up his wound; - And, after some small space, being strong at heart, - He sent me hither, stranger as I am, - To tell this story, that you might excuse - His broken promise, and to give this napkin - Dyed in his blood unto the shepherd youth - That he in sport doth call his Rosalind. - - [ROSALIND swoons] - -CELIA Why, how now, Ganymede! sweet Ganymede! - -OLIVER Many will swoon when they do look on blood. - -CELIA There is more in it. Cousin Ganymede! - -OLIVER Look, he recovers. - -ROSALIND I would I were at home. - -CELIA We'll lead you thither. - I pray you, will you take him by the arm? - -OLIVER Be of good cheer, youth: you a man! you lack a - man's heart. - -ROSALIND I do so, I confess it. Ah, sirrah, a body would - think this was well counterfeited! I pray you, tell - your brother how well I counterfeited. Heigh-ho! - -OLIVER This was not counterfeit: there is too great - testimony in your complexion that it was a passion - of earnest. - -ROSALIND Counterfeit, I assure you. - -OLIVER Well then, take a good heart and counterfeit to be a man. - -ROSALIND So I do: but, i' faith, I should have been a woman by right. - -CELIA Come, you look paler and paler: pray you, draw - homewards. Good sir, go with us. - -OLIVER That will I, for I must bear answer back - How you excuse my brother, Rosalind. - -ROSALIND I shall devise something: but, I pray you, commend - my counterfeiting to him. Will you go? - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT V - - - -SCENE I The forest. - - - [Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY] - -TOUCHSTONE We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey. - -AUDREY Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old - gentleman's saying. - -TOUCHSTONE A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile - Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the - forest lays claim to you. - -AUDREY Ay, I know who 'tis; he hath no interest in me in - the world: here comes the man you mean. - -TOUCHSTONE It is meat and drink to me to see a clown: by my - troth, we that have good wits have much to answer - for; we shall be flouting; we cannot hold. - - [Enter WILLIAM] - -WILLIAM Good even, Audrey. - -AUDREY God ye good even, William. - -WILLIAM And good even to you, sir. - -TOUCHSTONE Good even, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy - head; nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend? - -WILLIAM Five and twenty, sir. - -TOUCHSTONE A ripe age. Is thy name William? - -WILLIAM William, sir. - -TOUCHSTONE A fair name. Wast born i' the forest here? - -WILLIAM Ay, sir, I thank God. - -TOUCHSTONE 'Thank God;' a good answer. Art rich? - -WILLIAM Faith, sir, so so. - -TOUCHSTONE 'So so' is good, very good, very excellent good; and - yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise? - -WILLIAM Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit. - -TOUCHSTONE Why, thou sayest well. I do now remember a saying, - 'The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man - knows himself to be a fool.' The heathen - philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, - would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; - meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and - lips to open. You do love this maid? - -WILLIAM I do, sir. - -TOUCHSTONE Give me your hand. Art thou learned? - -WILLIAM No, sir. - -TOUCHSTONE Then learn this of me: to have, is to have; for it - is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out - of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty - the other; for all your writers do consent that ipse - is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he. - -WILLIAM Which he, sir? - -TOUCHSTONE He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you - clown, abandon,--which is in the vulgar leave,--the - society,--which in the boorish is company,--of this - female,--which in the common is woman; which - together is, abandon the society of this female, or, - clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better - understanding, diest; or, to wit I kill thee, make - thee away, translate thy life into death, thy - liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with - thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy - with thee in faction; I will o'errun thee with - policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways: - therefore tremble and depart. - -AUDREY Do, good William. - -WILLIAM God rest you merry, sir. - - [Exit] - - [Enter CORIN] - -CORIN Our master and mistress seeks you; come, away, away! - -TOUCHSTONE Trip, Audrey! trip, Audrey! I attend, I attend. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT V - - - -SCENE II The forest. - - - [Enter ORLANDO and OLIVER] - -ORLANDO Is't possible that on so little acquaintance you - should like her? that but seeing you should love - her? and loving woo? and, wooing, she should - grant? and will you persever to enjoy her? - -OLIVER Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the - poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden - wooing, nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, - I love Aliena; say with her that she loves me; - consent with both that we may enjoy each other: it - shall be to your good; for my father's house and all - the revenue that was old Sir Rowland's will I - estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd. - -ORLANDO You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow: - thither will I invite the duke and all's contented - followers. Go you and prepare Aliena; for look - you, here comes my Rosalind. - - [Enter ROSALIND] - -ROSALIND God save you, brother. - -OLIVER And you, fair sister. - - [Exit] - -ROSALIND O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee - wear thy heart in a scarf! - -ORLANDO It is my arm. - -ROSALIND I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws - of a lion. - -ORLANDO Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady. - -ROSALIND Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to - swoon when he showed me your handkerchief? - -ORLANDO Ay, and greater wonders than that. - -ROSALIND O, I know where you are: nay, 'tis true: there was - never any thing so sudden but the fight of two rams - and Caesar's thrasonical brag of 'I came, saw, and - overcame:' for your brother and my sister no sooner - met but they looked, no sooner looked but they - loved, no sooner loved but they sighed, no sooner - sighed but they asked one another the reason, no - sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy; - and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs - to marriage which they will climb incontinent, or - else be incontinent before marriage: they are in - the very wrath of love and they will together; clubs - cannot part them. - -ORLANDO They shall be married to-morrow, and I will bid the - duke to the nuptial. But, O, how bitter a thing it - is to look into happiness through another man's - eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at - the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall - think my brother happy in having what he wishes for. - -ROSALIND Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind? - -ORLANDO I can live no longer by thinking. - -ROSALIND I will weary you then no longer with idle talking. - Know of me then, for now I speak to some purpose, - that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit: I - speak not this that you should bear a good opinion - of my knowledge, insomuch I say I know you are; - neither do I labour for a greater esteem than may in - some little measure draw a belief from you, to do - yourself good and not to grace me. Believe then, if - you please, that I can do strange things: I have, - since I was three year old, conversed with a - magician, most profound in his art and yet not - damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart - as your gesture cries it out, when your brother - marries Aliena, shall you marry her: I know into - what straits of fortune she is driven; and it is - not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient - to you, to set her before your eyes tomorrow human - as she is and without any danger. - -ORLANDO Speakest thou in sober meanings? - -ROSALIND By my life, I do; which I tender dearly, though I - say I am a magician. Therefore, put you in your - best array: bid your friends; for if you will be - married to-morrow, you shall, and to Rosalind, if you will. - - [Enter SILVIUS and PHEBE] - - Look, here comes a lover of mine and a lover of hers. - -PHEBE Youth, you have done me much ungentleness, - To show the letter that I writ to you. - -ROSALIND I care not if I have: it is my study - To seem despiteful and ungentle to you: - You are there followed by a faithful shepherd; - Look upon him, love him; he worships you. - -PHEBE Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love. - -SILVIUS It is to be all made of sighs and tears; - And so am I for Phebe. - -PHEBE And I for Ganymede. - -ORLANDO And I for Rosalind. - -ROSALIND And I for no woman. - -SILVIUS It is to be all made of faith and service; - And so am I for Phebe. - -PHEBE And I for Ganymede. - -ORLANDO And I for Rosalind. - -ROSALIND And I for no woman. - -SILVIUS It is to be all made of fantasy, - All made of passion and all made of wishes, - All adoration, duty, and observance, - All humbleness, all patience and impatience, - All purity, all trial, all observance; - And so am I for Phebe. - -PHEBE And so am I for Ganymede. - -ORLANDO And so am I for Rosalind. - -ROSALIND And so am I for no woman. - -PHEBE If this be so, why blame you me to love you? - -SILVIUS If this be so, why blame you me to love you? - -ORLANDO If this be so, why blame you me to love you? - -ROSALIND Who do you speak to, 'Why blame you me to love you?' - -ORLANDO To her that is not here, nor doth not hear. - -ROSALIND Pray you, no more of this; 'tis like the howling - of Irish wolves against the moon. - - [To SILVIUS] - - I will help you, if I can: - - [To PHEBE] - - I would love you, if I could. To-morrow meet me all together. - - [To PHEBE] - - I will marry you, if ever I marry woman, and I'll be - married to-morrow: - - [To ORLANDO] - - I will satisfy you, if ever I satisfied man, and you - shall be married to-morrow: - - [To SILVIUS] - - I will content you, if what pleases you contents - you, and you shall be married to-morrow. - - [To ORLANDO] - - As you love Rosalind, meet: - - [To SILVIUS] - - as you love Phebe, meet: and as I love no woman, - I'll meet. So fare you well: I have left you commands. - -SILVIUS I'll not fail, if I live. - -PHEBE Nor I. - -ORLANDO Nor I. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT V - - - -SCENE III The forest. - - - [Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY] - -TOUCHSTONE To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey; to-morrow will - we be married. - -AUDREY I do desire it with all my heart; and I hope it is - no dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the - world. Here comes two of the banished duke's pages. - - [Enter two Pages] - -First Page Well met, honest gentleman. - -TOUCHSTONE By my troth, well met. Come, sit, sit, and a song. - -Second Page We are for you: sit i' the middle. - -First Page Shall we clap into't roundly, without hawking or - spitting or saying we are hoarse, which are the only - prologues to a bad voice? - -Second Page I'faith, i'faith; and both in a tune, like two - gipsies on a horse. - - SONG. - It was a lover and his lass, - With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino, - That o'er the green corn-field did pass - In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, - When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding: - Sweet lovers love the spring. - - Between the acres of the rye, - With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino - These pretty country folks would lie, - In spring time, &c. - - This carol they began that hour, - With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino, - How that a life was but a flower - In spring time, &c. - - And therefore take the present time, - With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino; - For love is crowned with the prime - In spring time, &c. - -TOUCHSTONE Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no great - matter in the ditty, yet the note was very - untuneable. - -First Page You are deceived, sir: we kept time, we lost not our time. - -TOUCHSTONE By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to hear - such a foolish song. God be wi' you; and God mend - your voices! Come, Audrey. - - [Exeunt] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - -ACT V - - - -SCENE IV The forest. - - - [Enter DUKE SENIOR, AMIENS, JAQUES, ORLANDO, OLIVER, - and CELIA] - -DUKE SENIOR Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy - Can do all this that he hath promised? - -ORLANDO I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not; - As those that fear they hope, and know they fear. - - [Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, and PHEBE] - -ROSALIND Patience once more, whiles our compact is urged: - You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, - You will bestow her on Orlando here? - -DUKE SENIOR That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her. - -ROSALIND And you say, you will have her, when I bring her? - -ORLANDO That would I, were I of all kingdoms king. - -ROSALIND You say, you'll marry me, if I be willing? - -PHEBE That will I, should I die the hour after. - -ROSALIND But if you do refuse to marry me, - You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd? - -PHEBE So is the bargain. - -ROSALIND You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she will? - -SILVIUS Though to have her and death were both one thing. - -ROSALIND I have promised to make all this matter even. - Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter; - You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter: - Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me, - Or else refusing me, to wed this shepherd: - Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her. - If she refuse me: and from hence I go, - To make these doubts all even. - - [Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA] - -DUKE SENIOR I do remember in this shepherd boy - Some lively touches of my daughter's favour. - -ORLANDO My lord, the first time that I ever saw him - Methought he was a brother to your daughter: - But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born, - And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments - Of many desperate studies by his uncle, - Whom he reports to be a great magician, - Obscured in the circle of this forest. - - [Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY] - -JAQUES There is, sure, another flood toward, and these - couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of - very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. - -TOUCHSTONE Salutation and greeting to you all! - -JAQUES Good my lord, bid him welcome: this is the - motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in - the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears. - -TOUCHSTONE If any man doubt that, let him put me to my - purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered - a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth - with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have - had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. - -JAQUES And how was that ta'en up? - -TOUCHSTONE Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the - seventh cause. - -JAQUES How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow. - -DUKE SENIOR I like him very well. - -TOUCHSTONE God 'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like. I - press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country - copulatives, to swear and to forswear: according as - marriage binds and blood breaks: a poor virgin, - sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own; a poor - humour of mine, sir, to take that that no man else - will: rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a - poor house; as your pearl in your foul oyster. - -DUKE SENIOR By my faith, he is very swift and sententious. - -TOUCHSTONE According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases. - -JAQUES But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the - quarrel on the seventh cause? - -TOUCHSTONE Upon a lie seven times removed:--bear your body more - seeming, Audrey:--as thus, sir. I did dislike the - cut of a certain courtier's beard: he sent me word, - if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the - mind it was: this is called the Retort Courteous. - If I sent him word again 'it was not well cut,' he - would send me word, he cut it to please himself: - this is called the Quip Modest. If again 'it was - not well cut,' he disabled my judgment: this is - called the Reply Churlish. If again 'it was not - well cut,' he would answer, I spake not true: this - is called the Reproof Valiant. If again 'it was not - well cut,' he would say I lied: this is called the - Counter-cheque Quarrelsome: and so to the Lie - Circumstantial and the Lie Direct. - -JAQUES And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut? - -TOUCHSTONE I durst go no further than the Lie Circumstantial, - nor he durst not give me the Lie Direct; and so we - measured swords and parted. - -JAQUES Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? - -TOUCHSTONE O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as you have - books for good manners: I will name you the degrees. - The first, the Retort Courteous; the second, the - Quip Modest; the third, the Reply Churlish; the - fourth, the Reproof Valiant; the fifth, the - Countercheque Quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with - Circumstance; the seventh, the Lie Direct. All - these you may avoid but the Lie Direct; and you may - avoid that too, with an If. I knew when seven - justices could not take up a quarrel, but when the - parties were met themselves, one of them thought but - of an If, as, 'If you said so, then I said so;' and - they shook hands and swore brothers. Your If is the - only peacemaker; much virtue in If. - -JAQUES Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at - any thing and yet a fool. - -DUKE SENIOR He uses his folly like a stalking-horse and under - the presentation of that he shoots his wit. - - [Enter HYMEN, ROSALIND, and CELIA] - - [Still Music] - -HYMEN Then is there mirth in heaven, - When earthly things made even - Atone together. - Good duke, receive thy daughter - Hymen from heaven brought her, - Yea, brought her hither, - That thou mightst join her hand with his - Whose heart within his bosom is. - -ROSALIND [To DUKE SENIOR] To you I give myself, for I am yours. - - [To ORLANDO] - - To you I give myself, for I am yours. - -DUKE SENIOR If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter. - -ORLANDO If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind. - -PHEBE If sight and shape be true, - Why then, my love adieu! - -ROSALIND I'll have no father, if you be not he: - I'll have no husband, if you be not he: - Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she. - -HYMEN Peace, ho! I bar confusion: - 'Tis I must make conclusion - Of these most strange events: - Here's eight that must take hands - To join in Hymen's bands, - If truth holds true contents. - You and you no cross shall part: - You and you are heart in heart - You to his love must accord, - Or have a woman to your lord: - You and you are sure together, - As the winter to foul weather. - Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing, - Feed yourselves with questioning; - That reason wonder may diminish, - How thus we met, and these things finish. - - SONG. - Wedding is great Juno's crown: - O blessed bond of board and bed! - 'Tis Hymen peoples every town; - High wedlock then be honoured: - Honour, high honour and renown, - To Hymen, god of every town! - -DUKE SENIOR O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me! - Even daughter, welcome, in no less degree. - -PHEBE I will not eat my word, now thou art mine; - Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine. - - [Enter JAQUES DE BOYS] - -JAQUES DE BOYS Let me have audience for a word or two: - I am the second son of old Sir Rowland, - That bring these tidings to this fair assembly. - Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day - Men of great worth resorted to this forest, - Address'd a mighty power; which were on foot, - In his own conduct, purposely to take - His brother here and put him to the sword: - And to the skirts of this wild wood he came; - Where meeting with an old religious man, - After some question with him, was converted - Both from his enterprise and from the world, - His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother, - And all their lands restored to them again - That were with him exiled. This to be true, - I do engage my life. - -DUKE SENIOR Welcome, young man; - Thou offer'st fairly to thy brothers' wedding: - To one his lands withheld, and to the other - A land itself at large, a potent dukedom. - First, in this forest, let us do those ends - That here were well begun and well begot: - And after, every of this happy number - That have endured shrewd days and nights with us - Shall share the good of our returned fortune, - According to the measure of their states. - Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity - And fall into our rustic revelry. - Play, music! And you, brides and bridegrooms all, - With measure heap'd in joy, to the measures fall. - -JAQUES Sir, by your patience. If I heard you rightly, - The duke hath put on a religious life - And thrown into neglect the pompous court? - -JAQUES DE BOYS He hath. - -JAQUES To him will I : out of these convertites - There is much matter to be heard and learn'd. - - [To DUKE SENIOR] - - You to your former honour I bequeath; - Your patience and your virtue well deserves it: - - [To ORLANDO] - - You to a love that your true faith doth merit: - - [To OLIVER] - - You to your land and love and great allies: - - [To SILVIUS] - - You to a long and well-deserved bed: - - [To TOUCHSTONE] - - And you to wrangling; for thy loving voyage - Is but for two months victuall'd. So, to your pleasures: - I am for other than for dancing measures. - -DUKE SENIOR Stay, Jaques, stay. - -JAQUES To see no pastime I what you would have - I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave. - - [Exit] - -DUKE SENIOR Proceed, proceed: we will begin these rites, - As we do trust they'll end, in true delights. - - [A dance] - - - - - AS YOU LIKE IT - - EPILOGUE - - -ROSALIND It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue; - but it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord - the prologue. If it be true that good wine needs - no bush, 'tis true that a good play needs no - epilogue; yet to good wine they do use good bushes, - and good plays prove the better by the help of good - epilogues. What a case am I in then, that am - neither a good epilogue nor cannot insinuate with - you in the behalf of a good play! I am not - furnished like a beggar, therefore to beg will not - become me: my way is to conjure you; and I'll begin - with the women. I charge you, O women, for the love - you bear to men, to like as much of this play as - please you: and I charge you, O men, for the love - you bear to women--as I perceive by your simpering, - none of you hates them--that between you and the - women the play may please. If I were a woman I - would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased - me, complexions that liked me and breaths that I - defied not: and, I am sure, as many as have good - beards or good faces or sweet breaths will, for my - kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell. - - [Exeunt] |